


A Bucketful Of Paper

by Lunyhime95



Category: Homestuck
Genre: ALL OF IT, AU, Chucklevoodoos, F/F, F/M, Fic Dump, Fluff Dump, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Gen, Gratuitous Smut, JUST DUMP EVERYTHING HERE, M/M, Mention Of Other Trolls, Multi, NSFW Dump, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pale Porn, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Pale-Red Vacillation, Prompt dump, Quadrant Confusion, Quadrant Merging, Quadrant Vacillation, SMUT dump, Sober Gamzee Makara, Some One-Sided Flush attraction, Some death, Uhhh...., a goddamn pile of gamkar, all the writing dump, au galore, come have a feelings jam, did i mention about the smut, gratuitous fluff, just fucking gamkar, you know what - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-08 10:07:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5493359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunyhime95/pseuds/Lunyhime95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A place to dump plot ideas and probable things that won't get fully written out, or even just 'what if's, about Gamkar.<br/>Some chapters will be taken out of other things that I am working on, if anyone happens to notice.</p><p>Request/Prompts are OPEN!!!</p><p>Enjoy~!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dry It Up (Pale)

**Author's Note:**

> A word of warning!
> 
> Some of these will be smut beyond smut, some will be cotton candy fluff so sweet your teeth will fall out. There will be AU's, prompts, RP's, some QUESTIONABLE themes maybe, or even just pieces from other fics that I am working on. IF any of you do happen to have a personal prompt you'd like to see, I will GLADLY write it for you, just send a PM or comment.
> 
> Other than that, please enjoy the mass amount of gamkar that is soon to be.

You worry about your diamond sweet.

 

Oh sure, he'll up and yell and screech with that way he's got that makes all manner of the unruly get their listen on or hang their heads down in embarrassing shame; you know you do this much too often, and with too big a smile when Karkat does get his scold on to you.

You also know that when something is bothering up all the thoughts in his pan, you gotta do something about it. Because that boy is the only motherfucker that's got blessed sun-hands that know how to touch you to get your right calm quick, who's got burning lips pressed up at your forehead to push back such horri-terrible ideas that formulate all on their own, and who's just so small that you gotta always check yourself to make sure you don't crush him. (He's too important to you, oh you'd never, never ever never hurt him.)

 

If it ain't motherfucking serendipity, then you don't know what is.

 

So when you're sitting all tucked away and cozy in your respite block, have your Karkat splayed out on the pile, on the verge of bursting up and out with candy colored tears, you are gonna be damn sure to take care of the problem, whatever it may be. 

You're all bone and hide with long fingers that you use to stroke down his cheeks, bring your ice-touched lips to each salty drop on either side of his face, still wriggler-round like his grub fat hasn't all redistributed yet, like the rest of him is. Press once, twice, all over his face, soft and chaste and like starlight, to the underside of his jaw, his throat, the dip of soft skin to his collarbone, and Karkat just shakes, little gasping sobs that wheeze out his air sacs. Your poor little brother tries to silence himself, to no use, and not like you would let him now.

"Let it get on out, brother mine. Cry as loudly as you will, even til your cry dries itself all up. Ain't gonna let no one near, pale love," and you'd make good on that promise, would kill anyone, anything you'd perceive as a threat, for him. Got your precious sweet all wrapped in limbs, not ever gonna let go, gonna keep him til he's ready to sort his shit out, and even then you'll hold on.

Makes the most sorrowfully pitiable sounds, he does, vocal box making like to warble and chirp, try to answer back with gentle clicks and soothing purrs, your rumbling up and out through your chest. Have one hand rubbing down his back, the other gingerly, carefully smooths away at a nub-horn. Your precious Karkat shivers, almost stops up then starts on again, tries to sit up, to push your hand away from the too-sensitive chitin.

"Shhhhshhhshhh.....just me, bro....you're okay. Just gonna make you feel all good again, no worries, love," you murmur to his aural, fold him away into the crook of your neck, feeling hot plips of tears on your skin. Get your fingers up at him again, heedful of the oversensitive hard nubs. Don't ever press too hard, that ain't for any kind of pale, just make light strokings on the rounded tips, help ease his breathing to something less harsh on his throat.

Karkat still trembles, but less so. The tears are still running, and at least he ain't all dry-heaving now. You get yourself all nuzzling at his precious little face, nose away pale pink drops, lap them up and off his cheeks. He gives you a little sniffle every other breath, but he's calmed down some.

 

"Alright, now what's all and made itself wrong to you, best beloved?"


	2. Vacillation Waltz (Pale/Red Vacillation/Quadrant Confusion)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to dedicate this to the lovely Gin, one of my favorite Karkat RP partners. Thank you, you gorgeous gem beauty for allowing this to exist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:
> 
> NSFW  
> Chucklevoodoo  
> Mention of Somnophilia  
> Severe Quadrant Vacillation/Confusion  
> Probably A Whole Hell lot Of Other Kinks That May Or May Not Have Happened Acidentally

He catches you whilst getting his wander on in the hallways.

 

It's a lot further than anybody's willing to go, and that's most exactly why you moved yourself down here.

Was he looking for you?

You try not to hope.

You try not to cringe.

 

You stiffen up when Karkat's attention gets focused on you, stay half-hidden and still in the shadows. You haven't paid much attention at yourself lately, and....well....

 

"Gamzee?"

Your eartips flick at your name. You haven't heard anyone call for you in a long ass time, and your pusher pounds all the way up to your auriculars. Your body is unsure whether to stay, come forward, or scramble back further into the dark. You aren't sure if you want to rush him and just scoop ~~your~~ Karkat up and have his miraculous heat in your arms, or if you might spill that warmth across the walls, across the floor, down your shirt, raise candy-colored claws to your lips--

You don't know what to do.

"......hh.....Hey, Karkat......brother...."

Your voice is.....quiet, but also giddy, gleeful; rough and raspy from disuse and neglect, and your throat almost feels raw. You keep yourself right the fuck where you are, try not to move, you don't know what might happen if you do. You hope you don't want to find out.

".......whatcha doin'......goin' around the halls down here?"

Karkat sighs all huffy-like, and you swear you can see the roll of his eyes from where you are,"Being a moronic dolt, apparently. Trying to figure out the pathways of the lab, as usual. Where have you been, anyways?........Have you been down here, the whole time?"

You feel your mouth move, soundlessly for a bit, trying to work your vocals out,"...Around.....just.....gettin' my chill on in one of them empty rooms that's all to bein' down here.....," you don't let on to anything else, he'd be horrified at what you've been doing, you better just keep that noise to yourself.

"Are you alright, Gamzee? You sound......subdued, or something," he tries to squint for you, pick you out of the darkness. There's a tiny prickle at your horns.

"..........WOULD A BROTHER PREFER IF I UP AND GOT MY SHOUT ON!?"

He winces from the sudden volume, you have to retain control through the now present buzz in your horns,"I didn't mean your fucking volume, I meant the way you're speaking. Trailing off and.....something..."

Oh. Your jaw tries to relax,".......ain't nothing for you to get your worry on for, bro...," Yet, a piece of your pan thinks. You squash it down, try to at least,"......ain't a thing....."

"I just.......I haven't seen you for a while, Gamzee. Can......can we talk?"

You need to get a hold on yourself, because this is the last person you want to get any hurt to. The cacophony of noise and whispers in your pan tell you otherwise, but you've gotten better,"....Yeah...we can motherfuckin' talk, bro...."

"How have you been? Specifically, how have you bee feeling lately? Are you eating and bathing regularly? How about sleeping? How are you doing emotionally and mentally?"

He's asking so many all at once, which has you confused for a second. He's obviously been worried about you, and that makes the palest part of you what feels for him just about break,"....uhm.....I'm...I've been alright, if I got my guessin' so...."

Karkat starts forward just a step, hands extended palms up,"Can I see you?" His voice is one of the softest you've ever heard him be. Your hand reaches, but drops in hesitation. You.....you're such a coward, aren't you?

 

_J̱͓̏̋Ǘ͇̹̟̬̠S̬̘͖̝̥ͣ͌̋̀͜T̘̘͎͕̱̬̗͑́ ͙͑͌͜T̵͇̫̗̙͎̊ͪA͎Kͥͣ͋ͪͨ̎͗Ḙ̡̯̍͊̀̅͌̽ ̯ͫ̾͢H̐ͥI̟̱̜̱̭̦̠ͬ̆̉́M͕̗̜͐̈́̒͆̚_

 

 

"Gamzee....?"

You snap out of yourself. Out of irritation and anxiety of your pan, you reach up and take his hand, slowly step out. You hate yourself, when you're starting to get like this. The voices quiet, and you wince as the full light of the hall hits your eyes. But you can still hear them flit about in the back of your mind.

"Gamzee..., "He calls you gently, drawing you bit by bit into the light, his other hand reaching up to rest on your cheek, swallows heavily,"You've gotten even taller, I swear. But hardly any thicker, we should get you something to eat."

A think occurs in your head, but that's hardly anything even remotely, appropriately pale. You just keep your trap shut, give ~~your~~ Karkat some sort of nod and wait for him to lead. He pulls you slowly into embracement, clutching close before he draws away again. Keeps a hand laced with yours and tugs you away from the shadows, gets you to follow up to his block. It's not as far from everyone as you'd like, but farther still enough. Settles you into a hastily put together pile of romance novels and torn up scalemates, a couple of your honk horns thrown in. Karkat uncaptchalogues an opened can of grub hash and offers it up to you, watching carefully.

"It's not seared cluckfowl, but it does well enough in a pinch."

You think your digestion sac makes some kind of noise when your sniff nub takes in the open can. You take the grub hash, study it for a bit.....and....You tilt it back and down it quickly in a distraction from your own terrible thoughts. You realize how very hungry you actually are. When was the last time you ate? Karkat waits for you to swallow before running a hand over your chest and arms in what you think is supposed to be comforting. It works a little. He settles his head against your shoulder, waiting for you,"Tell me about your feelings, Gamzee."

It's such a simple request. He's trying to get you into a feelings jam, and while you would greatly appreciate one just about right motherfucking now, you can't risk it, won't risk it, far too many known and unknown consequences, Karkat's own safety included. You _will_ not risk it, especially now, in his pile, where you could do anything, and nobody would..........

_Í͍̰̠̜̘̪̏̎̄͂̌̄͠S̛͚̰̲͚ ͓̃̓ͮ͌̽ͅḨ͓Ȩ͓̳̦̳ͧ ͕͙̹͈̙N̊͆O̻̓́̒ͫT̤̝̠̝̱̠ͅ ̱͚̥̼̜͓̳̇͞Ý̵̲̳̫̤O̟̿͋ͦ̓ͭ̅͢Ŭ̴̦͚̰̝ͥR̩̼̝̩̝Ś̻͔͙?̟̜ͥ̂̌͡ͅ_  
_͇̩̱̗ͩ͛͛͋͝_  
_ͮ̾̈̈ͥ͑͌͏̝̯͈̗͈̜̠H̶ͣ͑ͧ̎̓ͩ̒Ǎ͕ͣͨͮV̛̀̆ͅE̢͙ͤ͋ͨ͒ ̸̲H̜̙͂I͔̯̺͐̊͌M̠̖̟̠̲̬̽̾̅ͫ̆ͩ͢_

 

You have to breathe in heavy gulps of air to calm down,"....'m fine...."

Karkat's brows furrowed incredulously,"You don't look fine, Gamzee. It's alright. You can talk to me about whatever it is, I'm here for you."

Every part of you believes him, wants to believe him, at the same time, you just want him. That darker urging wants ~~your~~ Karkat out of obsession, but you just want him 'cause he makes you better. These feelings all mix around and fucking up and hurts you pusher like a stab wound,"....I....I really can't, Karkat...please......I'm okay....." You hate this, lying to him. ~~Your~~ sweet beloved is leaning on you and you want to touch him so bad, so motherfucking bad, but you don't got any kind of trust for your own hands. They shake with the want, but you gotta keep control. You are in control of yourself. Won't even think about touching him until you make yourself so you can't ruin him. That's all you're good for, anyway, ain't it? Ruin and Corruption is the song the bard sings best. You'll ruin him.

Karkat puzzles over you, your refusal to answer to his help. See the hurt flash on his face, and you could die right there from those pretty sad eyes he gives you. Reaches warm, soft little hands to your face, soothes away jitters you didn't know you were having and makes your breathe ease up and slow in. You get a nuzzle for being trouble and a quiet, lulling shoosh from him. Whatever he's doing, it works for the most part. Karkat could do whatever and you'd let him.

 

And oh, bless him, bless ~~your~~ sweetest boy. You give him nothing, have nothing for him, yet he'd give you everything. Got his sweet little hands gettin' their pap on, and nuzzling his cute ass self at you. Makes stop at all the noise going on inside. A trembling hand (yours)reaches up and carefully places itself on his back. You daren't move from there, who knows what you could do to him if you suddenly lose yourself? You saw the other timeline, you know what happened. A rumble starts up in your chest and your voice box, and that probably was a sob you just made. Karkat's response is immediate, positive, murmurs sweet words, coos devolving into wriggler purring, all sweet as sugar floss, matches in time with your thick rumbling against your thorax. He reaches both hands up to hold the sides of your face the moment he hears the sob, leaning up at you. Nuzzles and kisses both cheeks right under your eyes, encouraging the dam to break and- oh, what do you know, it feels wet - puts you under his own special little trance that only he can,"I'm right here," he whispers over and over, variations on the repeat,"It's okay, I'm right here, you can let go......"

You blink a few times, try to keep back the tears, yet cold spills over your cheeks anyway, and you finally just _do_ , just give in to him( you could never deny him anyway). You cry large, noiseless sobs that hurt your air sacs like a bitch. Your other arm comes around and pulls Karkat into you, like you could force him inside your thoracic cage, right up next to your pusher. You realize for the moment that you don't want anything else, just him. Just ~~your~~ precious love diamond in your arms, that's all you need. Pray to stay like this, pray to keep him forever, pray that you don't mess up this time. But.....no, you want to stay....but your pan is fixin' to do somethin', and you gotta get away, need to get away before you hurt ~~your~~ best beloved.

But you wanna stay _so_ badly.

 

_W̠̺̭͎̭͈ͭ̃Hͩ́Ȧ͑̾̀͛̉͌Tͧ̃ͨ̓͐҉̝ ̼͒̉T̔ͧ͌Ḩ͕̞̰E̔ͧͤ͗͟ ̠̲̙͉̻̜̼M̶̙͇̒̏ͨͩ́O̫͖̰̳͔̘̩̽̏͌T͓̝͇̝̳͇́Ĥ̤̝̦̭̙ͪ̓̑̄ͅE̢̻̪̗̟͚̒̍ͪ̽ͤͣ̉R͚͓̰̱̔̂͗̇͗́F̣̒͢Ü̮̍ͬ͊ͣ̎͑Ḉ̪̮̺̆ͣK̳͍̤͟ͅ ̬͇̜͑ͨͬȦ̳͓͙͍̺ͬͨ͌ͧ̃ͮR̪̻͚̪̍̓̉ͪ̿͂̈́ͅĔ̫̹͎̔͋ͭ̇̈̑͘ ̜͊Y̻̫̹̤̗̦͙̅̈́ͮ̎̿̔͞Ơ̭̘̫̩̹̜̊̍ͧͥ̿U̲̼̠ͪ̀̾̿ͧͅ ̨̞͍͎͍̻͙̉̐ͥ̎͑̀ͅẆ̖̹̌̿̃͑̇ͯȦ̀̎͋Ȉ̦̭̠̹̾ͫ̂̎̄ͬT̤̝̜̦ͪͥͪ̎̓ͨ͞ͅI̤͓͉͋ͩͭ̂ͣN̪̞͊̄̂̓͛ͯ͗͟ͅG͙̻̹̬͎̥͙̀̈͑̔̾̂ ̫̙̟͍̼͌ͣ͊̌ͩF̴̈̊̒̑͆O̸̬̠̩͉̖̫̫͑̊͋̽ͭ̇Ȓ̰͖̰͋̍͐ͫ?̞̻̞̤̹͇̄̄ͦ_

 

You wanna stay.

You don't wanna see him dead anymore.

  
Karkat grips you back just as closely, head burying into your chest. His fingers curled into the sides of your shirt, unaware of the darker things flowing up for control of your think pan. Keeps on with digging for your thoughts and feelings,"It's going to be okay, Gamzee, whatever is hurting you right now, it's going to be okay. I'm not going to leave you, alright? Please, just tell me what's going on in your think pan. I can't help you if you don't at least give me a hint."

  
"...N-no....'m okay....promise....just......need you bro..." You are a fool, a fool consumed by greed and cowardice,"...just...j-just...needed a-a hug, y'see?...hehh..didn't get my hug on in a motherfuckin' long ass time...y'know...." you need to reassure him, and then leave so you don't put him in any danger, any _more_ danger, he's already _in_ danger. Oh mirth of mercy, ~~your~~ boy is sitting at the mouth of a cave what wants to swallow him whole.

  
You know he knows that you're lying, still lying to him. Frustration blooms on his pan and on his face, knows you ain't telling him something, still gonna be wont to try to make you spill,"I'm so fucking pale for you, Gamzee. I don't know what's doing this to you, but I'm pale for you and I want you regardless. I need to keep you calm, it's my fucking job to keep you calm. You're my moirail, what can I do to help you? What do you need?"

To hear this twists your pusher into something half happiness and so much sorrow, and you love ~~your~~ boy so pale, love him paler than the stars, but your pan twists everything else up in between, you pity him pale, red, confusingly black and not too sure about ash, but it all just feels like a sick and unfunny joke. Hell, you probably "human" love him, and you ain't all sure about that either. It ain't gonna do you no good to trouble your moirail with any of this.

".....Just stay, brother mine....just stay with me...."

"I'll stay with you," he responds after a moment, all reassurance and soft purring soothes. He curls in your side, all pride and crankiness and badgering forgotten, just being with you, makes everything feel all fuzz and fluff almost. His hand traces a diamond between your face, pectorals and abdomen over and over again, while you're clutching him close to keep him there, to keep the moment intimate. Swear up and down that no matter where, ~~your~~ Karkat just fits so perfectly up against you,"I'll stay, until you feel like talking to me.

You shut your eyes and cling, got the sweetest troll in the world what pities you. Diamonds being all traced into your skin, you nuzzle in the crook of his neck. Brother is so warm, always so warm, burning, and you're always so cold and you want that heat all over, but you'll settle for what good you've got already. You curl further into the pile, as if that was possible. Let his purring be your lullaby, nod to him,".....I'll try....just gimme a bit..."

Karkat almost trills some, and you probably might, too, loving how much of him you can feel, his pulse just bump-beating under that dove gray throat, how you'd love to put your lips to it, give Karkat a taste of a darker shade of red--

No.

Completely unaware of your inner conflict, Karkat tries his best to warm every inch of you, could make you almost the same temperature if he wanted. Sighs and closes his pretty rubying eyes.

 

 _T̥̦͓̎̓ͥ͌̕Ǎ͔͍͇̻̆Ḳ̫̩̬͎͑̏̂ͤ̃́̿͜E̱̟̠̔̐ ̙̤̈Ḥ̷̋̏̚Í͖̗̩͔̲͗̌́M̪̞͕̤̥ͤ͊͑͞ ̵̰̱ͨM̘̗̣ͦ̾͗ͦ̃ͭͫO̺͔̠͎̗ͣ̂ͬ̿ͅT̖̟̲̩̫̜̞͌͗H̜͙̦̉͂͌̃̈́̒ͥ͘Ḛ̟̤̪̮͉̜̓ͫŖ̖̩̐F͏Uͬ͐C̟̘̲̠̹͂́͒̓ͪ͑K̎̒̉ͫͣͭ̚E̜̤̦͈̳̲͈̾ͭR̭̳̻ͪͬ̒̆́_  
_̤̠̀̌̇̓ͭ̚ͅ_  
̂̓ͦͤ _C̾̋̑̄͊͏͍͈ͅL̔̇̿͂̒̄Ȃ̳̀̉Ị̗̺̮̞̱̋͊͆̏ͬ͛ͨ͠M͞ ͍̗̊ͬ̊̈́ͣ̇̀H̷͑ͬ̏̚I҉̫̯͉͍̥̹ͅM͍̜͍̙̺̞̄ͩͮ̾ͦ̾͞_

 

Your hands twitch to squeeze almost too tight, you barely keep yourself. You try to come up with something to say to distract these thoughts from you. All that comes to mind is a fool's piece of scripture, but it's still something, hopefully enough to distract,"........'and the angel of double death descended upon the realm of the dead, discerned none wicked from innocent; he opened his great maw and slew the souls of what meant to rest all and all alike'......" You whisper it so quietly that you ain't completely sure if Karkat even heard you. You try to relax into the heat his little body provides, but yet the intrusive thoughts still try to sear at you. A light hum starts at your thorns again. You shut your eyes tight and your claws nearly puncture your sweet love.

Karkat flinches where your claws have him, pain flashing to his face. Grunts at the slight sting of claws, and a plume of worry flares up quick,"Hey.....hey! Relax. Tell me what's going on. Talk to me, anything. Please, Gamzee......"

His pleading pulls so terribly at you, and you're afraid of what's gonna come out if you talk, but not talking seems to just worry him more. You gotta think of something.

 

_D̟̫̪̭̀ͣṚ͙͔̼͋ͤ͡I̯̰̱̟͍̯N̵͓̯̩̜̦͖͐͛K̥͓̬̲͕̤͉̑̐͞ ̸̺̠͎ͧ̓T̪̮͚̣͚̥̪̾̑̍͑ͯͦͣ͟Ḥ͂̌͑̾̎̾ͦĖͭ̏̈́͘ ̨͒͂͆̋S̨̬̤ͥ̈Wͪ̒Ë͇̮̪̰́̽̈̊E̡̼̐ͧṮ͙̩͈͉͕ ̞̥̐̍̌̒̾͆͛O̴͈̣̿ͩF̵̺̻̝̗̈͆̃ͯ̓ ̟͔̲̞̹͔̐͊Ḧ͉͎́ͨͅI̢͓͚͎̦̮ͥ͑̆S̙͙̠̳̣̞̎ͦ̋̑ͅ ̩̞̳̹̌ͦ̾̄͜B̧͉̖͈͙̋̍̏L̗̦͍̳̳̐͆̑̉O̹̜̠̲̹͙̾ͦ͝Ò̘͈̠D̵̖̝͉̪̰̅ͯ̽ͮ̚_

 

Something _else_ , and fast.

  
You're so close to his throat........close enough to hear the rush of what you know to be his bright cherry pop what runs through his veins. Can smell the sugar of it, almost drives you to worse.

  
Karkat's hand slides up to your cheek, running back to your wild, untamed hair. He curls his fingers around the long tresses and idly trails up to your spiraling pieces of chitin, scritches away at scratchy, rough part. Takes in the state of you, and can probably smell your shirt, and for how long you've been wearing it,".....We should get you in the ablution trap...." he murmurs softly, smooths your tangled mess of hair back,"I can take care of you, even if you don't feel like talking right now...."

Some kind of choked up sound bubbles out of your throat. Most beautiful boy ever, don't even know what he's doing to you. Don't even know how bad an idea that's all up and being, the two of you locked in a small space together, where there ain't gonna be much in the idea of escape. Sweet little hands stroke around your horns, nearly soothes away the buzz; nearly. Drag all gentle through your messy-ass hair til he grabs your hand and pulls you up, brother being somewhat stronger than you got a remember to. Karkat leads you to his ablution block and clicks the door behind even though ain't nobody else to lock out, it's just the two of you and your stupid-ass pan what don't got a lid all the way on. He turns back to you and gives you that look when he wants you to do something.

  
"Well, c'mon, clothes off. Unless you want to do a fucking laundry load with your bath," Karkat turns back around to get the water on, trying to bring the temperature to a reasonable level, making guesswork of it,"Do you want me to get in with you, or are your limbs too gangly for shared ablutions now?"

You slowly tuck your limbs inside your ratchet-y shirt and nod your head some, despite the fact that's probably a bad idea. Probably not the best thing that he be sitting in the trap with you both naked. You've done fair enough with your control, but you ain't meant to last. You're careful as you tug your shirt from your horns, gotten one-too many holes in your shirts that way. Shimmy your pants down and huddle as small as you can- you really can't -to the wall of the tub.

  
Karkat also sheds his clothes, starts with the too-big sweater first, slightly out of your viewing, back turned. He's all kinds of self-conscious, your brother is,"Scoot forward," he requests before sliding in behind behind you and uncaptchalogues a cache of ablution toiletries. Makes a valiant effort at wetting your hair-mess down before dousing it with large squirts of shampoo, slowly works it in through your hair.

Honestly you think he probably really didn't need that much shampoo, but you ain't complaining much with the way he's rubbing at your scalp, working a purr and a couple clicks out of your vocals. Probably even fall asleep, as he tugs on you a few times to sit back up 'cause you drooping forward. This is the most relaxed you've ever felt in a long time, and Karkat's tiny hands turn everything that makes you up to mush. Him and the water combined make the ice flow out of you. You haven't had any intrusive thoughts for a good while, either. This is nice...this is good( too good, you need to leave).

  
Karkat hums, enjoying how you drift right off in his hands, you're sure. Doesn't want to get knocked in the face by your horns, so he pokes at you again until you can keep your oculars open. Careful as he is rinsing the suds from your hair and restarts the pattern with the other stuff, just as generous in amount and massaging. It's rhythmic and relaxing, fingers in your scalp, around your horns. Karkat leaves it to soak as he begins to soap off the rest of you, with gratuitous amounts of massaging between.

And oh holy motherfucking shit, this is the fucking bitchinest of tits of good that's making your bones all loose and shit. They're gone now, no more bones, 'cause your bro is trying to turn you into a pile of highblood jelly, it's working and you don't even mind. There's probably a dopey-ass smile on your face, and everything is all light and bubbly and hazy, like one of Strider's human animes that you filched from his room once, you should probably show it to Karkat.....

.......Actually, never mind on that....shit wasn't the most pale-inducement you got a feel onto.....more of a red (what the motherfucking orgy-tastic fuck???) feel 

.......shouldn't be thinking about no red things with your _moirail_ naked right behind you.

 

_A̩̤͉̥̘̜̿͒̕N̻̓D̙͎̩̠͈̗̀͆̕ ̲̬̩̙͈̫͟Ẉ̬̱͉͍͓̟̿H̡̙͎̗ͥͤ̈́Y͖ͬ̀̆͗͜ ̪̲̰̻͕ͣ̾̎̒̐ͩT͉̳̫ͫ͡H̛͎̲͎̤̪̜̞ͭ͒ͪ͆ͯ͂E͙̻͚̟͈͚̫͒͊̏̈ ͖̲̟̦̦ͨ̽ͤ̒͛Ḟ̠͍̦̬͛̓ͦͩ͂U͚̼̥͖̥̱̣C̡ͧK̹ͤͩ̀ͪ ̸̞̻̯̮̘̈́̎̄̈́ͭN̨̺ͣͫ̀̄Ǒ͓̭͔͒̃͑́T̓ͤͤ̇͘?̱̮͕̟͍ͥͩͭ̿̎̀_

 

You know you were just thinking something about intrusive thoughts before, you're fucking sure of it.....

  
Karkat's hands work literal miracles on your pectorals, a deep tissue repetition that you think is him trying to feel for your pusher, make sure you're for reals alive,"Gamzee, is this very toned muscle, or you just being skin and bones? I can't tell anymore, are you working out or not eating?" The latter is probably true, and you know Karkat is hoping for the former even though he knows you better than that. You ain't all into lifting weights like your strong brother was,"You're always so damned physically relaxed that I can't tell what's muscle and what's not."

"......'s just my skin, bro...don't think it's much anything else....." If he keeps rubbing at you like that, you're more than likely to show him _precisely_ what's being muscle and bones. And okay, yeah, you really hadn't been eating as much as you should've, truer still is that you can't really feel it unless you're in want to. Thoughts direct you to look at Karkat, all bared out in front of you with his brow furrowed in concentration and concern. Your eyes rake down his chest and over the bright grubscars on his side, before you snap 'em back up and keep your sight glued to the faucet,"....might.........not have been eatin' what I should..."

"Well, although it disappoints me, I can't say I'm exactly surprised."

His hands trail down to your middle to give it the same treatment he'd given your thoracic pecs, respectfully and appropriately stopping just above your bitsy area at least. Reaches back up to begin rinsing the conditioner from your hair, taking time to untangle thick stuck-together curls,"I'm doing your horns next," he informs you, pulling a jar of horn polish from his toiletry pile. Dips his fingers into the viscous stuff and reaches up to start on your left horn, slowly circles the breadth and laving his palm up and down to get it covered.

You wince as a tingle runs up and down your horn, more from pleasure than anything. Your mouth purses and wibbles some, and your eyes start to tear up. Your voicebox starts up a light trill and _fucking hell_ , messiahs help you if you jump him. You feel all kinds of good, almost like being nothing, light and floaty. A contented sigh crawls up and rumbles outta you, and damn, if only you were to die right now there would be almost no regrets.

Karkat works the oil into the all the tiny little crevice cracks that inevitably must have formed along your horns, you might have grown a bit since last you saw him. He takes his time, and if you get yourself any more worked up, poor brother might be dealing with an unsheathed bulge in the ablution water,".....Are you alright, Gamzee? Is that too much for you? We can stop, you know."

"....N-no, 'm fine bro....'m okay...jus' fine...," Just keep him behind you where you can't see him, feel him sure, but maybe as long as you can't see him, you should be fine. You _can_ have control of yourself, and you're gonna _motherfucking keep it_ for his sake,"........'m fine....," Maybe if you repeat it enough you'll believe yourself? Worth a try, you think. Maybe use this as a way to learn even better control, have ~~your~~ Karkat help you without knowing he's got his help on. You hope.

 

"......Are you _still_ not going to tell me what's wrong? " He slides his hand slowly up and down your horn, pressure firm to work the oil in. You can feel his need to help you twist itself to some kind of annoyed anxiousness. Starts to pinch down a little harder, then releases. Moves to the right horn, Karkat's tone dropping slightly,".....Do you still not feel like you can trust me?"

  
" _NO_!" You're horrified,"...brother, no, t-that's...that ain't it at all...." No! No no no nononono, it most definitely is not it at all! Of course you trust him! Always and forever, through starlight and back, to the Farthest Ring and back. You very dearly want to tell him, solve it all through. Have him there to tell you it's okay, it'll be okay. That he still loves you, will still pity you even though you're either flipping or shearing his flesh( oh, no, nonononononono, no, _never, you would never_ ).

But, for one, this is not something you wanna discuss with him, because _what if he really won't want you no more_? For two, this ain't something you can put out in words and talking, never had a way with speech like the way  ~~your~~ Karkat does. And for three, you're trying your hardest, but it's so bad, not enough, you don't want to fuck up, you don't want to do _anything_ that your bro ain't wont to like,".....'s really hard to make words for, Karkat...."

Karkat stills when he hears his actual name, attention solely on you now. He abandons his horn-rubbing to wrap his arms around you, hot little face settling into the dip of your spine. Holds you close, steadfast,"...I understand, Gamzee. I know what you mean. I don't ever sound like I can shut the fuck up, but words are hard to come by a lot of the time, especially when you can't tell what you're feeling. Just try, please? For me? Talk about it, even if it doesn't make any fucking sense, whatever you can say. I'll still be here for you, whatever it is."

  
You're trying, oh lords and messiahs, you're trying. You ~~love~~ pity him so much, and you're trying and it's _fucking hard_. Your mouth opens and closes all stupid-like for a bit. You can't make words for him, not even simple ones to tell him what's going on with you. All you good for is moving, acting.......

 

............But

You can....maybe _show_ him....?

 

_M͎̳̬̱̖̗͚͘O̤͇̝̘̘̫͊̂T͂͒̇H̷̟͖̻̳̘ͯ͂͂Eͭ͒̅ͪͥ̚͝Rͭ̃ͪͮͨͧ͟F̆ͩ̀͛̏̀͡U̞̞̬̼ͥͫ͒ͣͮÇ̹͕̠̥͈ͨK͊͘I̳̥̬͓͐ͮ͗͌Ņ̒͑̇̎ͫͤ̑G̞͚̻̹̮ͣ ̦̮̮D̹̓ͣ͗̋̇̅͜O̫̺͙̜ͥ́̏ ̢̙̠ͥͣ̇̀̌̊̊I͛̀̀̉̽̏ͭ҉̫̱T̷̝͌͛_

 

You can show him **_gently_** , fucking stupid pan voices.....

You carefully take his face in your hands, water drip-drip-dropping down back into the trap. Lean in and press lip to his forehead, your bro leans in for it, surprise him and press fully and hard and _most definitely not pale_ on his soft little lips, feel how he jumps from shock. Let your voodoos buzz through you to him and back and forth. Show him all of you, every confusing bit of you. And you can see all of him, try not to much 'cause you ain't got permission, but you can see he pities you with all he's motherfucking got. Can see a bit of him-

  
- _Karkat leaning in for the tender kiss to his forehead, and then the cool jolt of Gamzee's lips on his throws him off completely, sends him off on five different tangents of emotion. The chucklevoodoos really set him off like touching a live electrical wire, makes him feel like his whole body jerks with electric crackle, feels the fear-buzz shoot through him. He clutches Gamzee as if he was afraid they were about to be used for torture, tears springing immediately to his eyes. He relaxes into some state of only half-shocked, realizes Gamzee is trying to communicate his feelings with him, what he couldn't word, every mixed, conflicted, vacillated, powerful emotion he feels for Karkat, and his pity redoubles with fresh new tears as he experiences them. Pity. Love. Hate. Worry. Concern. And then there's a tendril of a more darker, possessive sensation, almost suffocating, almost swallowing him whole, nearly toxic( he feels it, and then it's gone). He keeps his hold on Gamzee, crying openly at the conflict his moirail has been feeling, tries to gather his own emotions into something coherent_ -

 

 _F̰Ú͓̜͙͉̳̌͒̈́ͨ̀̚ͅC͉͊K͒ͤ̓̾̿I̝̜͔͗̿N̤̮͓͓̜̻̯͋͒̽G̻̲͚̺̓̓ͅ ͤT̮͓̩̱̯̔ͮ̿ͥ̌ͨͭȂ̺̩͔͇̖ͯͮͨ̂ͩK̹͈̫̜̯̅̀ͮ̈́̑̿ͦE̤̻̺̳̩̣̰̒ ͚͇̬̣̝̳̗̓̈́H̉̽̔̾̓I̘̠ͭ͌ͬ́ͭ̍͌M̹̟̭͂̓̚ ̤͖̙͆͗͋̈̔̏̚A͇͎̳͛ͬͯ̋͒L̈́̆͆̑͗ͮ̓R͓͍͙͖͌̐̉͗͐Ě͈̰͉̗̪͍̦̓̏À̓́ͧD̬̮̬͖̥͍̥͆̇̑ͥY̰̬̯͉̝_  
_̰ͬ̊_  
_̦̜͔ͭ̑̍͐ͪ̌ͯH̳̤̤̭A̼̬̰̳̼̩̿͛V̤̲͈̩̓Ḙ͉̜̌̈́͌ͅ ̪͈̦̬̍̾͛ͬ̄H̖ͦ͒̾͛İ̝̖͔̻͓̖͇͆̉̿S̝͙̮̲̱͙͌ ̠̞̜̍ͬM̭͖͎I̖͙̫̯͑̐͊̈́̾N̗ͤ̉̏̆D̠̣͕̺͛̓̉ͧ̆ͩ ͖̮̬̖̺͇͐̇͌͗͒̾Ạ͂L̼̯̔ͮͩR̩̊̄̈́ͅE͈͆͌ͧ̔A͓͔̣͎͐̅̾̍ͅD̜ͧ̏ͦ̑̀ͥͭY_  
_͖̣̰̿́ͩ͗͌_  
**_͍̣̼̑ͩ͐H̱ͫͩ͒͑ͧÅ͇̰͓͖̯̓ͪ̓V̞̞̬͖̝ͧ̽̓͌ͨ̉ͥE̘̻̙̅̅̄̾͗ͥ ̻͕͇̞͚͑ͣͪ́ͤH͚̰̞̲͔͎͛̋ͫͅǏ̳̼͇̲̟͈̤͊̎̍̽M̠̻̺̩̻ͥ̚_ **

 

You rip partially away, watch him inside and out, hope some that he don't hear your pan-voices. His eyes are taken over by the glow of your indigo, and streams of crimson spill and drip swirls into the water, some purple mixing in there because-- oh, you're crying too, that's fair. Your pusher shifts all kinds of funny, and you both are still just sitting there in the lukewarm water, breathing heavy while your color fades from his eyes.

Karkat clutches you tightly into him, breathing deeply for a few moments, mirrored tears streaming down your faces,"I didn't know." He finally says through cracked voice, sliding a hand up your hair,"I had no idea, Gamzee....," tries to clear his throat some,"What.....do you want to do about it?"

You....don't really got any kind of idea on what you want to do about it, wasn't planning on this, didn't actually think that far, go figure...You just bring him flush against you and hold him caged by your arms. There are a number of things you want to do, holding him as you are is one, kissing him again is another, and groping his grubscars is probably a bad idea for the moment,".....ain't all up and got any kind of surety on that....."

 

 _H̯̳͍̫̜̽̈́̒̽E̱̱̝̹͓̽ ̪͚̎ͪͪ̈́̒̑ͬK͙̞̬͇̻͔̽̅͊̔ͣͨN̲͔̭͇̤Ŏ̩̘͇̌W̫̻̣̥ͫͦͅS͎̯͕̼ͮͅͅ ͍̥̜̰̾ͬOF̳̭͖ͪ͂̍̂ͬ ͔̂͒̿̏̍Ỹ̟̗̺̰̯̓̊̈́̄͗O̤͕̰̲̺̗̯͑ͦ͗ͬ̎͊U̻ͫ͌͌ ͖̲͚̌̊͑͆͊̿ͫṈ̦̋͗̓̊͊̈́O͚̰͈̥͂Ŵ̬̯̳̝͍͗ͤ̅̌ͅ_  
_̈̌ͧ̊̈́_  
_̮̬͉̯͓͒͌̔̍Ạ̰̭̫͙̣͆ͮͥͥ̐̄Ĩ̂̈ͪN̜͑'͉͎̜͇̘̮ͯT̟͋ͣ̃̂ͬ ͕̞͈̪͍̦̤Ṭ͙̝̯̮̇ͤͫH͕̞̾ͅẠ̞̙̫ͅT́̅̄ ͍̽ͮ̏̔̈̄ͧṞ̎E̟̱̱̺̫͛̾ͦ͊ͅA̤͔̳̅̿S͕̹̦̤ͫͭ̿ͯ̓̊O̫̼̳̭̮͗͋͋͐͒̆ͯN͙̠͇͙̯ͮ̈́̆͒̚ ̫͊̀̀̐Eͨ͑̄N̼̼̰̰̘̙̦ͣͦ̚O̽̈́̇̌͑͋Ú͌̏͆ͭ́̈́Ǧ͍͇͓͍ͤ̋̎͗̋H̦̯͉ͨ?̜̲̜̗̘̗̔̂̊ͤͫ_  
_̅_  
_̟̃ͮ̅͒́͒ͦY̻Oͤ͐̊Ŭ͇̮̥̙̎́͐̏̂ ͥ̈́̍̾͗ͫ̚C̬̬ͩ̉́A͕̺̅̆̓N͈̩͔̹ͣ̊ͪͬͩ̌͊ ̐̾͐ͫH̰̥̤̖̮̱À̯̼̗̓ͅV̅̓̐̿ͮ̂ͭE̯̋ͫ͆ ͕̉ͪH̪͉ͪ́I̘̼̯̟ͨ̿̈M̦̖̱̪̰͍̅̅̃͗̃ ̙͙̻̣ͩN̗̯͍͎͚̏̍̄̌̒̐Ȍ̱̓ͨ̆ͣWͨ̃̾͋́̆_

 

"I mean, do you want to keep on with the pale quadrant? Do you want to vacillate into something....something else? I'm not entirely sure what, but I'd guess into the flushed quadrant..."

He doesn't budge from your arms,  expands his heat right up against you just so rightly. You....you actually don't want to lose him pale. In fact, you are _very_ sure that you don't want to lose him pale, ~~your~~ Karkat is the only one what can make you calm and happy full of pale-pacification at your stupid self. However, you are also _quite_  sure you don't want any other motherfucker touching him up, putting hands to what they ain't got any right to.

You have to shove the thought from your pan because that ain't any right way for you to think like that, however true it is. You think on how the humans have got all their quadrants shoved and lumped up into one, and why can't you have him both? "...I don't know, best beloved......Ain't got anything screwed on tight enough to get a proper understandin'......but what about...how the humans do it...?"

 

"You want to _blend_ quadrants?" The idea shocks him, of course. You expected as much. There's a tugging at your head, and you ain't connected up with Karkat anymore but apparently you're still getting some kind of think-feed from him. You don't mean to pry, but-

- _It's a largely loaded idea, then again, had he not tried to do the same with Terezi? It was actually exactly what he wanted and needed - someone to accommodate his voracious appetite for quadrants. It may be way outside of the norm, but with the troll population reduced to what it was, they might just have to share reproductive and conciliatory quadrants like this. Long moments of considering and justification to himself_ -

"We could try that..."

You jump out of your heads, your own surprise, squeak the tub on your bottom some and splash some water," Y-you really mean that....!?" You got a nice wide-eyed stare for him and your pusher just about skips a few beats. You lean forward a tad too much, which puts you real close to Karkat's face again. He winces back in surprise and purses his lips that you wanna kiss so much. Oh bless everything on ~~your~~ sweet beloved, you'll love him through the end of the universe and back if he means it. Love him anyway just because it's Karkat.

He leans back forward on his elbows and exhales through his nose,"Alright, come here." One hand weaves up to rest in your hair,"But don't you use those gigantic fangs, I'm not looking to get bloody in the ablution water." His fingers curled slowly against your scalp, his expression softening.

You're probably a bit too eager while his hands tug you gently. The moment you meet his mouth again, a purr sputters back up and rumbles out. You've got _your_  ( _yours, yours, yours, yours_ ) precious love to yourself for the moment and you wanna just bask in the heat that transfers from him to you. You got a goofy-ass grin spreading wide up on your face and your bro is trying to calm you down with soft paps from your over-excitement, probably 'cause you coming at him too strong. You ease up some into light pecks peppering on his face.

Karkat manages shooshes through kisses, papping between smoothing your hair back. He settles into a rolling, soft purr of delight,"Teeth," he mutters softly, returning to your lips, chin, jawline far more slowly and gently, just a little overwhelmed,"I'd ask how you feel, but I think I can tell now." His expression lightens, and he delivers a tender kiss to your lower lip,"Are your voices doing any better?"

You sputter some, starled. You'd really actually like to not talk about that. You're fine for now and you haven't heard much in a while, which's gotta be good, right?

"....Yeah, I got my thinkin' so......haven't got their intrude on in a brother's pan for a bit....," you trail off, press again at his lip( soft, soft, sweet). You have a grip on yourself for now, and you don't want anything to set you off, even though Karkat's right there, and he'll up and shoosh you the fuck down if anything does happen,"......should be fine, brother..."

"Alright, alright," he makes a low noise when kissed again, something between a grunt and a sigh. He can't help but to worry about you, you think,"Please don't feel ashamed, Gamzee. You don't have to feel bad about something that isn't your fault. I pity you. I pity you so fucking much that it hurts, so tell me however you can. Chucklevoodoos, words, actions, I'm here to listen. And I guess to get kisses, apparently. *He nuzzles up on your nose with his own, what the humans call an Eskimo kiss ( you should probably stop taking Strider _and_ Rose-sister's things).

 

 _M̳͚̥̰̝̘͚ͧͤ̒͐̉O͎̳̳̗ͥ̃ͥͩT̠̥̺̦̻͉̩̿̐̆̌̅ͤḦ̤̠̘͍͙̟̼̆͂̚E̟̳̰͉̳̜̰̐ͦ̌̏ͣR̟̬͖̠̘ͫͣF̬͚͈͖͚̄̓̊̓Ŭ̫ͨC̳̞̍͗K̩̩͂̾̑͋̊I̯̼̜̓ͫ͛ͦͤ̾ͦN̼̩͙̥̥ͩG̬ͥ̈́ ͇̦̳̩̭̖̳F̙͉̞̣̥͎O̖̹͗O͚ͥͦͭ̄Lͦ̌ ͎̥̟Ÿ̯̗̰̩͕̝́̈͐̔͂Ȍ̞̞̘͖͓̜͓ͪͦ̇̍̾U̞͌ͨ͌͒ ̞̖̞̘̘̰ͥ̐̽͛͊̒A̳̖̮̓͋R̫̖̠̺̄E̟̼̐ͥ_  
_̯̋ͅ_  
_̭̱̻̎̃́̐̏̔Ẉ͖͓̭̤̺͉ͣ̏̒ͯH̗̯̞̫̳͇A̜̘͈̬̯̱ͤ͂͐̑ͦT̜̱̣ͧ̽ ̲͈̪͍͇̬Mͥ̎̆̌ͮO̲͍̗̠ͬ͂͂R̲͍͎͈͔̆ͫ̅E̤͔̦̱͑͋ͪ̎ͮ ̼̦̺̞͓̍ͥ̉̏̎ͬD̏O̫̱̯̜ͮ̍̏͊ ̦͖̘̤̘ͧ̀ͭ͗Ŷ̤͉̗̐̅̊ͥO̘͕̜̭̪͎̓̈́͊ͯ̊Ū͍̪ͯͪ͑͐̓ W̼̣͙̋̓ͯ̀A̳̙̠͕N͙͍T̼̱̲̯̳͚̂͗ ͍͔͙̣͔̳O̩ͯ̃́F͍ͯ͒ͨ͐ͥͯ ̹̤ͥ̀ͫHͥ̃̔̌I͈͓̘̎ͅM̞̥̥ͭ̾ͩͥ̈́ͪ_  
_̮ͬͅ_  
_̻̤͌̒Ḭ̤̻͗̎̿ͬȘ͚̻͉͖̈̐̓ͅ ̩͍̋̍Ṱ͔̓̋̈̈́̎ͅḢ͉͕̭̀I͚̼̠̝͎͂ͥ̐̎̌͌̾S̗͖̖͖̋ͪͭ̓͋͂ͥ ̻̜͕͔̣͋N̉̉ͤͣ̑́O̤̹̦̺͈̫̥̿̋͛ͩͯ̿ͣT͖̻̣̖̣͙͔̈́ͤ̀ͦ͐ ̳̩̠̣̮̿E̫̍N̗̭̫Ọ͎̱̩̩̘̾U̜͎ͪͬͧ̏ͦ́̋Ġ͍̣̖̆̃̔͆̓H̥̩̱͚͔͍̭̍͒_  
_̜̲͚̺̃͋̂̓ͩͦ̈_  
_̬̹͚̹̥̺ͯ̽͒̀T͔̻̥ͬ̾̆̏̎̒Ạ̳̟̼͚̻͖ͤ͋̽͊̉K̑̉̎́̓̍̌E̬ͪ̽ ͖̼̞̑ͤH̻͇̰̞͕̼͍̍ͬͮͭͯ̄I͎͔̻̲̜̜̋̇M̱_  
_̫͍̲̩ͪͭ̏_  
_̜̻͎̓̐R͍̪͚͇̖̲͖͌ͬ̽͊ͨ͌Ȁ̟̌̋̎ͧZ̫̞͔͚̰̆Ê̝͍̫̝̹̳ͤ ̳̦͉̭̬͈̍̀A̞͔̭͍ͬ́ͧ͑ͭNͭ̐ͯ͑̋͂D̫͖̣͖̳̙̃̈̽ͪ̏ ̬̜̗̻̜͆R͖̮͋͋̏͗̊̊A̪̫̍͒̀ͭV̖͈̙ͨ̈͐̽̓͆A͍̙̦̎̋̎ͪĠ͎̝͇̽̽ͧͪ̎ͦE͈̰̤͖͋͒̏͛̐͆_  
_̜̤̼͈̜̩ͧͭ̽̚_  
_̞̅͌̏̊̐͑͗Tͮ̓E̼̥A̺͓̻͕ͮ̑̍R̹̤̩͖̠͍̂ ͖̝̲͙ͅH͈̲͈̫̹͚͛̈̃̎̓I̺̞̣̤͙̭̭͑̇͛Š̗͍̜͎͖̐̒ͅ ̺̟̮͖M̰̲̲͓̲̈̏ͮI̦̥͕̣ͥ͒͗ͅN̖͕̳̽̒̈́ͫD͚̰̰̱͈̳̩̎͊͑̄̽ͭ̚_  
_̦̞̬͇̣̤̞͐ͭ͛ͫͭ_  
_̭́ͥͨͦͬ̐D̥̥͖͍̮͗ͨ͗ͪ̃R̪̤̠̹̟͂̏̚I̱̥͎̗̘ͫͪ̑̄N͍͈̒̊̀ͨ̓͗K̫̈͗̈́ͤ ̬͎̜͉̍̋̃̆̈̋H͕̦̯̭̙ͬ͗̏̽͗̀I̟̞̤̰͌S̗͈̦͓̒ ̆ͫ̃͋̄S͉̽̄͋͌O̜̞ͮ͊̎̑̿̈́̐Ǔ̮̰͎̼̟̻͋͛ͪͣ̊͌L̘͔͐ͯ̈́_  
_͇̗̳̤̖̰͆̑̒ͤ_  
**_͇͔͉͈ͣ̈́̂̏̒̓ͣT̬̽͗̉A̗̻̩̘̞̼̣ͮ̈̌̊̓̔̚K̪Ė͎̘̙͓̠͇̞͂̏̂̔ ̝̯̿ͮ͛H̳͒̈́I̲͖̥̿́̚M̳͇̮̣̎͒ͅ ̳̹̭̌̾M̗͇͔̞̭Ö͔̯͐ͬͯ͒̋̅T͚̤͓̻͉̖̟ͭͬ̔͑̆͑̇H̦̻͙̳̠̋͆͗̿E͉͔R̬̺̟̈́̽ͤF͖̿̈́̒͑ͨͭU͕͓̰͕̔ͣͮĊ͚͖͍̞̯̜̘ͮ͒ͩK̖̘̮̥̘̅ͯ̓̾̓͛E̜̖͔̫̍̂̀ͦR̻̻ͭ̌ͧ̓ͩ_ **

 

You whimper some small sound between lips, loud urging thoughts banging around in your pan. Your brother ain't doing nothing wrong, just offering himself to help your stupid ass, and your motherfucking voices think it's cool to wanna come up with all kinds of things that ain't any kind of appropriate, like he's offered himself as a prize on the Carnival Mass altar. You.....could you show him through your voodoos again? Can you risk it with the way your pan is starting to buzz? You might do something you ain't wont to, might accidentally take him over all the way if you ain't careful enough.

 

".....Karkat....would-....can I..please?"

"Yeah.....obviously I'm pretty psychically susceptible as low to the hemo-ground as I probably am, so you'll have to be careful, but yeah, you can use your chucklevoodoos. It's not like I have anything to hide from you. Just please, be careful." He places his hands on both sides of your face, thumbs stroking slowly over cheeks, down to lips,"I don't know exactly how it works, but I know I can feel you really closely, and that's what I want. Go ahead, I trust you."

  
You love him. If you ain't never said it, you'll say it a thousand times over; You pity this boy so badly, you're gonna up and keep him to you for as long as forever lasts. You take his hands, tiny, soft little things compared to yours, kiss his knuckles, his palms,  and press once more to his mouth, settle him in your arms and ease back into his thinkpan, watch your color flow into him. Fluttery eyelashes tremble over glowing indigo while you open yourself to him fully, voices and all-

 

- _Karkat feels a rush over his mind and body as chucklevoodoos slide into his mind once more, a chilly and lukewarm sensation at the same time. He sees nothing but Gamzee, filling up his mind as his own expressed concern, that intense affection, and that same pity right back at him. Karkat was again hit by the presence of that darker, more malevolent voice in the young highblood's think pan, screaming for more horrid things done to the mutant. He pressed in in curiosity and worry, trying to discern their source, their purpose, and how to push them from Gamzee's mind_ -

"Gamzee......," he murmurs softly, a little confused about whether he was moving his physical or mental self when he tried to brush his fingers over his face again.

  
Karkat jerks in small, uneven motions, his body trying go one way, but his head telling him to go another. You gently tug his arms and wrap 'em over your shoulders, where they lock up and his sweet face looks up at you through the haze of your loose control. Ain't got a single thing to hide away from him, and you're about as open as one of his books,"What, brother?"

You can feel how he winces, physically and mentally, as he finds that sludgy part of your pan, slick as slime, but nowhere near as comforting.

 

"Why..... _don't_ you act on these thoughts?" - _He asks because he is genuinely curious he wants to know what keeps Gamzee under control. It's mentally and emotionally taxing to press further in, a vague impression of what exactly these voices wanted to do to him linger in his head_ \- "What's compelling about them? Why do you want to control me like that?" - _He feels some part of him shiver, and he supposes it doesn't matter whether it was mental or physical at this point_ -

  
You're.....for lack of a better descriptive, _horrified_ , when he asks you. You don't act on them because you ain't got a want to; well, you do, but you don't because you know that most of those thoughts, a good majority of those thoughts are bad in someway. They're in some part of your pan that's all twined up with knowing the things you want, like Karkat. You don't _want_  to control him. You don't but you do, ain't any other way you can get a think on to explain it better, just try to show him the best you can. While you agonize over this, Karkat shivers which probably ain't too good, considering you're still naked and in the trap, the water getting chiller the longer you stay.

  
"What's appealing about having that kind of control over me? What would you do if you did?" - _He presses further for an answer, trying to form some kind of picture he can work from. He knows the part of Gamzee that was respectful of his autonomy, luckily for him, the stronger side, would never want to impede on Karkat's opinions or desires. He knows that side of Gamzee, the predominate side, was moral, kind, and selfless. He knows the weaker, wicked side was there as well, however, and if left ignored or unchecked, it would easily run rampant. He has to admit that he was terrified of what Gamzee could do to him if he decided to cave to that desire. Possessiveness. Karkat has to admit he finds it (_ unhealthily, mind _) attractive. Even pain had its appeal with the right limits. Being shorn from his own mind and controlled totally by another person, however, was not in any way appealing, and he wants to find what makes that part of Gamzee tick so that he could avoid being totally obliterated by it. He finds his mind trying to withdraw, however, when his body responds to whatever Gamzee is doing, along with his need for reassurance_ -

 

 _Y̺̟̻̪̰̲͒͗͋̐ͨ͐O̝̭͚̭̘̤̿̓̍̽̾̈́̿Ụ̉ ̠͙͈̜̙F̺ͬU̘̞̥͇͙͓͂̋͌ͯ͆͋̅C̳ͤͨ͊̑̄K̈͂ ̜͕̺͙ͭͦͧF͈͚̼̙͚̪̘ͨ̾ͭ̊̄̔̈O̠ͧ͐͗͆̇O̘̺̩̻̮̬̊L̳̹͚̼̂̋_  
_̺̲͍̝_  
_̹̲̝̞̝̺͛̿̋͋̑Ṙ̪̥̬͓̺̯E̻̥͍̯̭̥ͥ͌̀̅A̿̈́̐̏̑̉P͛̉̽ͦ̒̓ ̖̳̝̞͕͍ͪ̿ͯ̑I̹̲͚̞̪͐͒͆̏ͮN̖̩̫͔̙̈͒̏̀̾̈T̖̙̲̣̺͚̑͒O̘͔͔͔͉͚ ̍̐̑̏H̠̘̥͕̹̪̱̍̿ͩỈ̪̖S͕͕̅̔̇ ͉̱͓̣͖̲͇̾̄ͧ̐P͇͕͚͈ͬ̚Ȃ̬͔̣̀͗̚N̝̬̝̭̻͕̽̋ͥͤ_  
_͔͙ͪ͗͑̿_  
_͎ͩͮ͐͛͆ͭ̚HȂ͕̳͊V̜̮̫̹ͧ̈́ͦE̼̙̼̬͓͎ ̹͕Y̮̣̼͚͗̐̂̀́Ò͚ͫ̄͗ͥÛ͖̟̦͔̘͐ͧ͑̂̔R̖̘͓͔̙͛̐̔ M̰̍ͤ̓Ū͎͙̝̙͗̈́̏ͅT̻͔̻͍͖̀̂A̟͓͓͇̦̣͋̚N͑͆͂T̤̮̝̖͎̯ ̣B̫̬͈̯̩̜̦ͯͨL͒́ͯ͒ͣͫO̼̳̐̏ͤͩ̾O͚̠̝̞̟̓D̏͗͗͗́͐̈́_  
_͉̀ͅ_  
_̳ͫ̀̅̑̆͂C̲̦̦̲̠͒̄̅̊ͪ̉ͭͅL̘̠͕A͕̩͎̯͖̗ͯ̾̂I̘̲͕͈͒̎̈ͯ̑̔͆M̫̥͕͇̰̻ͬͅ ͆ͭ̚H̽I͇̺͖ͯͮͬͤ͐ͧ̐S͗̓ ̯̪̦̃Ḇ̼ͥ̔̀ͦO͓̔͆̆͛Ḏ̘̻͙̠̤̮ͩỸ̫̆͊͑_  
_̥̣͚̙̮͛̏͌ͬͅ_  
_͕̦̥̟̘̀̌͌͌͐ͪ̑D̺̰̗̲͊̊̏ͯͮͪṚ̥̘͓̲͊̔I̫͎̩͙N͓̊K̲̓̈́̈̒̑ͅ ͇̹͔ͦ̓Ȉ͓͕̩̪͓̹͔ͦͩ̈́Ṉ͈ͣ̀̌ ̯̫̤̤̤̿ͮ̓̓ͅͅT̙̭̪͉͒͐H̝͕͚̰̗͈̎ͪ͆ͭE͚͋̊̍̒̚ ̳̹̟̅̇͛S͈̰͎̜̞̙̰̄ͬ̿̒͛̂ͤU͈̰͉Ĝ̥̣̯̙̤̰A̭̭̞̣̬̹̅R-̞͎͇̣̭̈́̎͗ͨS̺̠̭̱̹͂͂̈͒̉P̣̪I̖̓ͤL͇̣͚̤̀̓ͤͦ͒ͧ̈L͉͙̗̺̥ͨ̒_

 

You growl, involuntary, at the echoes that mess you up, trying to put together something understandable, an explanation. The echoing that starts back up in your think pan, however, ain't no kind of help, yet the imagery it creates is disturbingly arousing; Your Karkat under you with bright glowing orbs of purple, either motionless or blindly following your whims of desire and lust, an imitated rush of dark _ecstasy_ zips through your nerves, and you have to clutch at your bro's half consciousness to keep you contained, keep you from giving in to the twisted urgings.

".....Ain't gonna be no kinds of consentin' if I do, brother sweet...."

You don't tell him of the warped appeal of such a thing, that he'd be like a doll, a puppet in your arms, under your entrancement.

  
- _Gamzee's arousing feelings confuse and enhance Karkat's own, the stirring of dark possessiveness drawing his attention. He presses further in, body and mind, but finds himself more nervous and jumpy the closer he comes to sharing something more genuinely physical. Gamzee clearly wanted to, that at least his chucklevoodoos made little attempt to cover. The specifics are a little blurry to him, or a lot blurry, and he curls a little closer to his moirail-matesprit's body with uncertainty_ \- "Just tell me, if you can."

  
You....no, you trust Karkat with the entirety of you, and despite the voices screaming horrible terrible things to you, you show him plain and simple the pictures in your head. Unfiltered, you are bared before him as all you could possibly be. The glow flickers in his eyes some with what you give him. Shows him all how messed up you are inside, the way you want him is fucked up even. Can't just be happy with quadrant blending, gotta take him over and under through your voodoos as well. You know that this is something ugly and a disgusting thing for you to feel, to want, yet you wish for it anyway, fool of cowardice that you are,"....I....it's...it's like that, brother...."

  
- _Karkat watches the imagery, and has to admit he is somewhat startled. He doesn't want to be utterly powerless and controlled like that, it is a mortifying thought. Still, it seems to be a legitimate fetish of Gamzee's, and he isn't going to make the subject unapproachable by stigmatizing it and making Gamzee feel more ashamed of himself. He is even honored that Gamzee would trust him enough to share that darker bit of himself, so open, vulnerable, unfiltered. Karkat shifts, a little uncomfortable in the trap, but not completely terrified, and relaxes further back into the water_ \- "I don't......."

  
He breathes in deep,"I don't want our first time to be like that. But, maybe eventually....you could. I don't imagine I would know much about what was going on, but it's not that different from my own sort of.......thing....for somnophilia. Being controlled like that wouldn't......it wouldn't _hurt_ , would it?"

 

His apprehension and anxiety feeds itself a little into your pan, though you really ain't surprised much. You let your voodoos slip from him, finally, watch the purple light and the shared feeling and presence of him leave. You ain't want to do that to him either, not something you're sure do to your moirail _or_ matesprit. It surprises you when he says ' _eventually_ ', like he'd be okay with that. He uses a word you ain't got no idea the meaning to, 'cause Karkat knows a fuck ton of words you ain't got any knowin' on before, talking about somno-what-the-fuck it is. You try to elaborate some for him,".....I don't think it would put any kind of hurt on you, especially if I ain't wantin' to hurt you, 'cause I would _never_ , Karkat, wouldn't ever hurt you like that, with fear-monger pan-fuckery, that shit's all messed up, wouldn't want to, wouldn't _dare_....," you take a deep sac full of air before continuing,"....no...no....wouldn't hurt.....just be mostly numb all over...mentality-wise....I think..."

"I know you wouldn't," he leans up, pecks your nose, odd silence without his think pan there to mingle around with yours,"We can do a trial run at some point, just so I know what to expect. As long as it's only a temporary effect. That aside, thank you for trusting me with that, Gamzee," he kisses the your lips with the pressure of a flutterfly, satisfied with your pseudo-jam with him. You actually feel.....not better, but close.

"I am fucking freezing in this water, do you want to go back to the pile?"

"Yeah......," he looks you over some before making to stand out of the water. Something ticks at you, and then you realize that Karkat hasn't got his own bathe on yet, too busy taking care of you that he forgot himself. You wrap around him once again,"Heh, sure we can, but Karbro, I got my thinking on that you up and forgot about somethin'..." You pull him back in front of you, places reversed, sputtering, probably because the water is a lot colder to him than it is for you right now. You squirt a glop of shampoo and a handful of water on top of his head and start rubbing it in until it starts getting all foamy,"All up and forgot to take care of yourself, brother."

  
Karkat shivers,"I drew the ablution for you, not me," he complains as you begin lightly scritching into his hair, to the scalp, relaxing into it,"Thanks though...."

"Ain't a thing, brother......ain't even a thing. Gotta take care of my sweet bro sometimes, right?" You scrape lightly at his scalp, same way as he did to you, and Karkat don't need much hair cleaning in the first place, usually being clean most of the time. Carefully rinsing him off, you slick quite a bit of the conditioner in his hair to soak while you wash him down. You try to be thorough but fast, because he's starting to shiver more. Lather soap up and down his skin, and you are so careful about it because you might get at him too hard and accidentally leave a bruising. And because you are lewd as fuck motherfucker, your hands might have gotten their sensual slow on around his hips, Karkat lets out a low set of trills at the attention. Try to retain yourself because you gotta get his nubby little horns,"...aight, c'mere Karbro, let's see them nubs~"

There's a niggling tug on your mentality and you wonder how much of your psychi-try is left over in-

- _Karkat notices how Gamzee slows at his hips to pay special attention. It feels wonderful, but it makes him antsy, wondering if the purpleblood is staring at his body closely, noticing imperfections or overall undesirability at all. He is seemingly, insistently, attracted to Karkat, but the mutant couldn't put the appeal in perspective. Gamzee is beautiful for a highblood, genetics clearly having favored his bloodline as a special kind of superior, giving him stunningly hypnotic eyes, an understatedly powerful jaw, long, threatening fangs, and pridefully tall horns. Karkat, on the other hand, is round all over - large round eyes, round circles under those eyes, a wrigglerish, round face, and round horns and fangs, of all things. Karkat groans when he mentions them, but bows his head to his- moi-sprit? mate-rail? Materail sounded better- to show his horns_ -

  
You snap back from the psychic feed, and come to realize that you are a dumb and you don't know how to properly use horn polish. You dip your fingers in the jar and hope that it's the right amount, slather it all over one of his cute as fuck rounded horns. You try to do it all gentle-like, 'cause Karkat's horns are a fuck ton more sensitive than yours, and you probably tuck that information away in your pan somewhere for later. You feel him go rigid as you trace around one, hear his quiet chirring purrs that tell you you's doing fucking perfect, and you can kind of imagine the face he's making, and that it's probably adorable and that you're missing out on seeing it. You swipe a bit more polish and start at his other horn,"Almost done bro...gimme a sec...."

  
Karkat stiffens when your fingers circle pressure around the hornbed, purrs wracking up his thorax and quiet, breathy noises between chirrups escape him. He all but leans into you, tilts his head for you to easily access his other horn, cooing softly for you. Just absolutely melts, and if it ain't the most beautiful thing, you don't got no fucking clue what is....Well, you have an idea, but that's being all kinds of concupiscent. You think you've done a somewhat satisfactory kind of work on his horns. He's still purring even when you start dousing him with water that's much too chilly for his temperature, so you try to hurry it up and make sure he's completely rinsed off before you stand with him and try to carry him out of the tub.

"C'mon, best beloved, gotta get dry now or you gonna get a sickness all up in you, you almost as cold as me."

He usually would have an objection at being carried, but you got him freshly out of being doused in bone-melting attention. Karkat slings his arms around your neck and kisses both your cheeks and chin, only light shivering. His body just about humming with pleasure, vibrations following out from his chest to all his endy-bits, all perfect and affection-buzzed. At your gentle prodding, he uncaptchalogues a towel from his sylladex, attacking you with it first before he finally caves and covers himself in it. Manages to get your hair and shoulders off some before he gets too cold from the air. Drip-drying ain't never hurt you before. You help bundle him up and unlock the ablution door, walk out into his block. Karkat points you towards a storage unit that you find has a shit load of different kinds of blankets and towels, and of course your Karkat would be smart enough to have a thing like this. You grab another towel, and for good measure what you guess to be the biggest blanket being up in the cupboard, try to slip it out all careful one-handedly, so the others don't fall over. You flop into the pile with your love in your arms and throw the blanket over you both.

He erupts in a low barrage of purring again when the blanket settled over both of you, assaults you with nuzzles. He subsides when he feels your face is sufficiently covered, places another kiss or two on your nose and curls up tight to close his eyes.

"This is fucking incredible. I always love cuddling like this, it's as good as reading a romance novel in the dark. Better, even." His head finds your chest, rests there as he lets his eyes drift shut.

  
You're not surprised when the thought occurs that there are plenty of _other_  things that you two could do in the dark. However, you like cuddles a hella lot, so you aren't going to ruin the moment. _Especially_ with your lovely candy boy getting his nuzzle on at you, litters your face with sugar, sweeter than pie. You get your look on at him, because your Karkat is just so pretty, and you wanna wonder how'd he up and get like that all of a sudden, but not really 'cause your bro's always been pretty, most beautiful thing that the mothergrub up and laid. You do end up putting it to voice,"....How you bein' so pretty, Karkat.....," you croon at him so softly, try not to disturb him by your noise-

  
- _Karkat stills at the compliment, genuine and soft on his aural sponge clots. He turns face up to his mate's, his hand following to ghost over Gamzee's cheek with the edges of his fingertips, follows the line down his lips. He kisses his mouth gently once, twice, and a third, soft, chaste pecks that each end in a nuzzle. It was wonderful to be flattered, considered appealing, even when he wonders how Gamzee sees it, he feels valued and loved_ -

"I love you, Gamzee."

- _He uses the human term to describe the overabundant emotions, curls his fingers by Gamzee's jaw_ -

 

He's too self-conscious sometimes, needs to know how you think on him, hear how beautiful he is. Fingers trace your face soft, and nuzzling lips press at you all of the purest of affections. You don't understand much of the human's " _love_ ", but if anything, that's how you feel at him, too. Love this boy, to the end and back, always.

"I love you, too.......from end to start, and as long as forever lasts....," you cup his face and ghost slender fingers over the softness of his cheek to guide his lips back to you, kiss him like he's air so's you can breathe, mouth at him long and slow.

  
- _It's intense and sensual, a whisper of breath and the tender contact of lips relaxes Karkat into jelly-boned bliss. He groans softly after a moment, a short noise that is hardly audible, follows by Karkat idly easing a leg up to rest on Gamzee's hip, which feels more comfortable and intimate to him already. It's still odd, embracing his moirail this way, but feels delightful in all the right ways_ -

"Gamzee..." he whispers into the quiet. You shiver as his leg hitches over you, bare skin to skin with his molten heat warming you up. Your knee ends up shoving up further under his thigh where it's just that much bit hotter, and Karkat jolts where you are all icy at him. You follow after his mouth as his wispy breathless voice calls at you,"....right here, Karkat..." You peck at his sugar mouth lightly, press him flush into you-

- _Gamzee's body makes him jerk where their chests, as different as two fronts of a storm, meet, stealing away heat from his thorax and thighs until they equalize. It makes Karkat more heated than the steamy fetish of Hemocaste play between a highblood and a lowblood -that he totally doesn't watch or read, perish the thought- to feel this close to his mate, tangled up, pressed together, and exploring each other's mouths with long, slow kisses. It's better than a romcom, more satisfying than a movie night cuddling, and the sheer sweetness of it brings Karkat's temperature up even higher. He runs his hands down Gamzee's shoulder blades to the dip that made the small of his back, his bloodpusher feeling faster pressed firmly right up against Gamzee's_ -

"You're beautiful. So beautiful.....do you know that? How beautiful you are?"

  
You do have to snort a little at that. Naw, you ain't nothing. Ain't that much in the way of beauty about you. Karkat says so though, so you can believe him for a bit. But you'll firmly believe that Karkat is the better of you two, got shimmery dreamy eyes what for looking through you with, his whole self got a flush going from his cheeks to his ears and creeping down his neck to the rest of him. Starts showing up in rosy slips along his curves.

"What about you, bro?......Don't even got a know on what you're doin' to me, bein' all kinds of beautiful gorgeous that I ain't even got words for..." There's a small twinging in your pan, but you got so much love and pity all for this blessing of a mate what you got folded up into you, you don't even give it a single motherfuck and its presence completely leaves you, for the time being at least. You want it to up and leave you forever.

"Me? You're kidding, Gamzee. I'm wriggler-faced, I'm too soft, I have circles bigger than the Alternian sun under my eyes. You, though, you have the body of a troll paradigm, even if you don't eat much. You have eyes that could stun troll Matthew McConaughey into silence, wild, thick hair, a sharp jaw...teeth that could shear my shoulder off," He smiles slightly, kisses your mouth hiding mentioned fangs, hooks his other leg up your hip, nibbles tenderly at your lower lip,"But instead puts together insanely gentle words among other embarrassing sentiments and kisses." 

You have to chuckle at him some, spouting funny things on you," I've got half a mind to make an argument to you....," You stop for a moment to nip him back, tug slightly on his plump bottom lip, and one hand grips under at his other knee,"...I got my know on for motherfucking damn sure that _this_  face," Both hands cup his cheeks now, thumbs caressing softness and rubbing at the darker circles,"..can do somethin' that just about nothing else can; can make my pusher stop an' it can't even restart itself sometimes," Your hands skim down and ghost down his shuddering sides to rest on the gorgeous round curves of his hips,"whether you soft or hard, ain't nobody else fits just the way you do," Give him a quick squeeze and trace him back upwards to finger his teeth,"..sure, ain't got much points in your fangs bro, but can still shred a motherfucker something bad if you gotta...," You lock to his eyes, wide and glossy, and you can see the flecklings of miracle candy crimson blossoming into the grey,"...and I don't as fuck got a know on any other motherfucker who's got beautiful eyes like you," As you stare, you lean in again, pulled in by his own magical gravity-

- _A soft keening escapes Karkat as Gamzee tugs at his lip with his teeth, his mouth remains parted in anticipation of another kiss. His hips shift up when he feels Gamzee lightly tracing and squeezing them, blood starting to pool between his thighs. Gamzee's closeness is almost like half of him being filled, though they are completes opposites in virtually every aspect, Karkat finds stability, security, reassurance, trust, love, emotion, and intimacy when he's with Gamzee, wrapped in his arms, sharing his own feverish heat with his cool body. He cups Gamzee's shoulder blades again, kneading with the tips of his fingers at the muscle_ -

"Let's talk about how you're eyes are shaped like a scalebeast's and framed by lashes so fucking long they touch your cheekbones, how the purple growing in them is hypnotic, like shards of venom piercing the surface, ringed in gold like a noble's, staring down with the most relaxed, unassuming latent danger I've ever seen. They're fucking sexy, Gamzee. They could paralyze a dragon."

  
Blood rushes up to your ears, and it might have even gone south(no, it definitely went south), what with your beautiful Karkat speaking such sweet words at you and him being close in general just heats you up, makes all kinds of stirring up and happen, your bone sheathe being one of them. You hold his gaze steady and intense,"Ain't got much to talk about them, bro. See my own oculars everyday, don't got much of a need to explain them...but you, Karkat.......'s just fuckin' beautiful, an' you wanna know why?" You're filtering the breath between the two of you, sharing airy kisses while you start at him, his long eyelashes flutter like they about to shut down,"......Big pretty eyes what look like they got entire galaxies holed up inside, sparkle and glitter nearly a thousand times a day, fuel whatever's caught my brother's passion for the time. Could light the stars on fire, precious love, burn up the universe and then some. Wouldn't even miss it, just 'cause you'd be in sight, all bright gorgeous, as red as pity you are." -

- _Karkat's groin is heating up on it's own, his sheath stirring with each pitter-patter that Gamzee's compliments set off. He wants to close his eyes into the words, into the affection, but he wants to hold Gamzee's intense gaze more, as warm and excited as it's making him feel. He wants to move with a sudden surge of adrenaline, to pull him impossibly closer, to kiss him until they were melded together. His nook gives a surprisingly strong throb, draws a breathy groan from Karkat as his voice picks up a higher, more breathless pitch_ \- "How did I not want everything about you before? Your pale, your ashen, your flush, your pitch fucking pure, everything. Every part of you, I want every part of you, Gamzee. You're wonderful, you're beautiful. You're perfect to me."

  
Finally you push back into him and reconnect by mouth, Karkat's eyes fully shut, as well as yours and his breathing picks up heavy because gone is the fragile, filtered air of before. You suck at his bottom lip til it pulls into your mouth and swipe your tongue across, run it along the faint edge of his teeth. You make a good sweep of inside his mouth and you think ' _wow_ ', because your sweet bro _literally_  has the taste of sugar. You slide up his tongue some while those high little sounds he starts to make feeds into you as he eagerly slips against you. Your hands wander over his skin until one rests at his grubscar and another back to feeling up his hip. You part briefly with a wet popping smack that you rather like in order to croon against his lips,"Best beloved, you always been perfect, could lay worship to you like gospel..... _would_ lay worship to you like gospel...," Correction, you _are_  going to lay your devotion to him like gospel, and you pop your lips back together while your bulge slips out of it's sheathe and something cold runs out your nook-

- _Breathing and intensity speed up in their kisses, alerts Karkat to the need to accelerate, his bulge slipping out as his lip pops pleasingly out from between the Gamzee's teeth. It's oddly vulnerable, not having a hand to manipulate his own bulge, instead feeling it press and twine against another troll of its own volition. He gasps and arches when their bulges meet, icy and hot twisting together, sending tremors though his body as they writhe together eagerly. He tries to keep up with Gamzee's mouth and that mind-blowing sensation at the same time, high pitched moans escaping him over the hand on his grubscars and hip, his own hands frantically trying to find purchase on his mate, from hips to shoulders to face. It's hard to process all at once, but the overwhelming pleasure is incredibly delightful. Karkat could give anything to remain in that state, suspended on hormones and emotion, for eternity_ -

  
Hearing those sweet, gasping moans and feeling the heat of his bulge on yours spur you forward some to where you roll off your side to straddle him, keep his legs hitched around you. You press deeper to his hot little mouth while you begin a grind into his hips. You moan yourself on the feeling, sparks shooting up and down your nerves while ice and fire writhe between you. You've left his lips, another lovely pop, only to mouth his throat and suck at his frantic pulse, and his hands finally grip under your arms to the back of your shoulders, brushing some against your own grubscars. You whisper at his neck some between groaning kisses.

"Lookit you, Karkat....gonna drive me mad....all up and insane with love and pity and everything...jus' for you..." 

- _Karkat's hips roll up needily to meet each of Gamzee's grinds, his lips going a little numb at the second, thrilling pop of separation between their mouths. He moans aloud when Gamzee attacks his throat, his hips and body trembling with sensations. His hands trace at Gamzee's grubscars, swirling circles around them before he runs them up to the back of his neck, claws gingerly tracing the muscle there, and moving back down to his grubscars_ -

"Gamzee, you feel incredible, Your bulge feels incredible. Your lips and-, I can, hardly handle-mmnf..."

  
Your grinding turns almost desperate while you shiver from heated fingers on your grubscars. Lips make a path down his body, now flushed all over, ghosting nips at his skin as you trail down before you have to somehow remove your overexcited bulge from him, curling on itself from loss of Karkat's warmth. His thighs are soft in your wandering, kneading hands. You look to him for permission, no words, just eyes, just please.  And when he nods you slide over the creamy smoothness of the inner side, trace up and around his twisting bulge and the dripping, puffed out sugar-space he has for a nook. His bulge curves happily around your wrist and holds your palm against his folds so you grind that into him too, watch his beautiful lips part to make sound, nothing coming out but uneven little chirps what tell you he's happy.

- _Karkat whimpers in loss when Gamzee's bulge draws away, but gasps anew when his own encircles Gamzee's icy wrist, the heel of a palm pressing against his nook. He can't do anymore than chirp delighted, warbling sounds that are soon lost to breathy pants. His nook feels almost painfully swelled, dripping unevenly but constantly on Gamzee's palming. Karkat squirms, perhaps too much, to try and work some of the sensation out, arching his back and clawing at the blankets beneath him, having no other body to hang onto. He misses the company of Gamzee's bulge already, but his hand is also incredible at driving his sex to desperate dripping_ -

  
The sounds he makes really are going to drive you crazy, and suddenly you're like ' _what self-control_?'. You get jealous of your hand soon and prop him up to your chest, his back and shoulders rest on your lap, dip a careful finger in his trembling nook and come out victorious with a strand of cherry syrup,"You makin' sugar-traps for me, Karbro~?" You catch his hazy eyes as you wipe your digit clean off your tongue. Return to his sex with a kiss for his clingy bulge and one for his happy sugarnook as your tongue darts to clean up some juice what's spilling out, spread him a little with your fingers and let your tongue get inside him. Your bulge is almost painfully coiling itself, but then Karkat though...oh sweet Karkat,"....Oh sugargrub, 'm probably gonna make you my new elixir if you don't tell me to stop...."

  
- _Karkat lets out a shuddering sound as he feels a long, thin finger dip into his nook, gazing up at Gamzee from his place in his lap. A warm spike of pleasure went through him as Gamzee cleans his material-soaked finger with his own tongue, his nook responds by redoubling the supply. His breath caught altogether when lips, cool and soft, meet his nook, releasing it in a loud cry of delight when he feels Gamzee's tongue slip in past his fingers. It's sopping wet and giving, like wet jelly being pressed against his walls and serenading his lips_ -

"Oh...!! Gamzee, don't stop, oh f-fuck, _please_ don't stop. Make me your elixir, y-your slime, hh-fuck...! Your tongue-nn, is the m-most incredible thing I've ever felt, and I've tried putting s-so many fingers in there, but t-that... mmhf, that's...just....wonderful! More  _please_ more..!

If your precious beloved wants more, surely you cannot deny him. _Couldn't_ even. You are near literally drinking him up, what with his moaning to screaming rhapsody to encourage you vigorously thrusting your tongue all up in him, burning candy slipping down your throat. For all seriousness and honesty, you would bottle his essence up like a faygo pop if you could. Couldn't possibly stop now, even if you wanted to, like you ever would. Your Karkat most definitely doesn't want you to stop, bucking himself to your lips, fucking himself on your tongue. Being so motherfucking sexy-beautiful that you reward him by finding his pleasure nub and keeping it sucked up in your mouth as much as you can, your prize is more of that candy syrup. Gets you motherfucking addicted. You chest rumbles from a purr and warbles up and out your mouth to him-

  
- _Karkat's moans and cries turns to delighted screams of Gamzee's name when he feels that bump of nerves sucked to his mate's mouth, his hips trying to press down harder on Gamzee's incredible, skilled lips. He realizes abruptly that he's getting close to mounting orgasm very quickly, and Gamzee's warbling vibrations into his nook doesn't help the matter. He should tell Gamzee to stop, but he desperately doesn't want this fiery-cold, wet bliss to end. Karkat lets out a long, low wail, pressing down hard on the highblood as the lips of his nook trembles with impending orgasm_ -

"I--Gamzee, I'm about to-, you'd....oh fuck, i-if you keep doing what you're doing, I can't...ohhh, nnmfff--ahhh-! Y-you're good, you're so good, Gamzee, Gamzee..." The rest is just variations of your name while he paws at your thighs, entire body writhing with need.

  
"Shh...just let it come, sweet...spill for me..." And just hearing your name tumble like that while he's having tremors running through as you plunder his heat-space works you up to plunge in with fervor. Works him up real nice, near burning your mouth as his nook clenches down to kiss you back. You suck hard and nip down on his pleasure nub, and that seems to be the final push for him. Karkat arches stiffly, pushes his space further up into you, his head whipped back and breathy cries crawl out. Plush thighs clamp up and around your shoulders, hold him tight to you while his cherry slick flows and you swallow it down like your new favorite red pop-

  
- _A burst of lightning pleasure pierces through Karkat as he feels dangerously sharp teeth nip his pleasure nub, pushing his back up into an arch, his thighs tight around Gamzee, and his hands clenching on the other's thighs. He lets out long, loud cries with more of Gamzee's name intermingled in them as wave after wave of high climax hits him, ridden out by Gamzee's tongue continuing to lave up genetic material from his nook. Karkat's head buzzes with ecstasy, warm pulses wracking his body as he slowly comes down from the incredible euphoria. The mutant pants, disorient  with bliss, his thighs slowly released his lover's shoulders, and his back slumps into his lap_ -

"Ahhhn....Gamzee, you're amazing, fucking amazing, I love you...love you.." He blinks blearily up at you, barely able to keep his eyes open while post-coital delirium overtakes him.

  
You scoop him up and set him properly into your lap, limp and spent and wait until his breathing calms down some before you plant kisses at him, bright red dribbling from the corner of your mouth,"...I got my love for you goin' so hard, Karkat.." A hand gropes at his rear some, and he's got tiny uneven jolts still running from his nook that he jumps a little, accidentally grounds on you, reminds you of your own problems, your bulge tightly coiled and long forgotten wrings itself impossibly tighter and sends a longing, desperate throb through your nook. You lightly hiss and groan uncomfortably,"...Aw, shit.."

  
Karkat can probably feel your dilemma, kisses you gently under your jaw,"Gamzee, you're too fucking patient....I can't believe I didn't give you any...," He reaches down to gently palm a hand over your painfully wringed bulge, encircling it in his hand to slowly pump the length, carefully stretching you back out, holy relief on the curvings,"What do you want to do about this? I think I can stand for another round if you want," he murmurs against your lips, all but his hand totally limp against you.

And messiahs, you love him so much. He's got a look like he's about to nod off, yet he still won't because of you. Hot hands grind on you for your relief, sensation forces your ridges to rise up to meet Karkat's palm. You release shaky breaths while you pulse in his hand,"....Want that more'n anything.....a-ain't altogether sure if-f's it's being good of an' idea....gonna stir you up, bro..." You give him a weak grin and your bulge curls his hand to your nook. You actually would _love_ to be up in him right now.

  
"I can handle it," Karkat whispers back, fingers wound in your bulge, gently trailing the lips of his swollen nook, two gingerly dipping between the folds. Hot on cool again, also painfully wet, presses a small middle finger into your slippery folds, pressing a sensual, sleepy kiss to you. He withdraws his finger to pump your bulge again, and then moves back down to repeat the motion, spending a few moments slipping the finger in and out,"I'd fucking love it, feeling you inside of me...your ridges in my nook, oounnhh-- if you could fuck me until I couldn't move." He presses partially incoherent kisses down your throat and shoulder, free hand trailing down your chest to grubscars.

And you could. You really could, especially if he don't stop dirty-talking you up real sweet. Oh lords, the psychic feed is still going pretty strong. If you weren't hued up before, you most for damn sure are flushing now, a heady feeling rushes at you from heated fingers slicking inside you and Karkat whispering on your lips. As heart-achingly painful as it is, you manage to untangle his hands from yourself, raise 'em up and kiss over the indigo slick what covers his skin. Delicious shivers still shock through your nerves from your nook to your scars to your bulge and back through. You set him upright in your lap, right over you,"....Tell me now, sweetest love, tell me or I ain't like to hold myself back..." Your bulge, now alive and twisting, reaches for him, glides along that dripping slit-

  
- _Karkat shivers as he watches Gamzee kiss his own genetic material from his fingers, his body pressed flush in every area it could be to his mate's- "Fuck me." -He murmurs, kissing Gamzee's lips, swipes his own red from the corner of his mouth, turning his head slightly to lap the purple dripping from his fingers, moves back to his mouth to kiss down his chin. His heart picks up suddenly as Gamzee's bulge swipes the mound of his nook, apprehension pooling in his stomach as their heat differences meet. He wonders for a moment what it would feel like, how it was going to fit, if it was going to fit, if it was going to be as mind-blowing as Gamzee's tongue, and whether he'd last long enough to see his partner through his orgasm. Karkat kisses him again fervently, gripping him as close as he can_ -

" _Please_ fuck me, Gamzee... I need you."

You don't think you could say no to that. How _do_ you say no to that? Why would you even deny your love of anything, really? You can barely keep yourself from driving into him, bulge way too eager to be in him. Got a hand on his side rubbing circles in his hip and the other in control of you, trying to slowly feed your length into him, mindful of ridges that pops in, makes sounds that feels like an ignition point for you, thrusts the bit you got in him more than you meant what has fang-clenching bliss jolt through, runs a current of pleasure up and down your insides. Karkat pants open-mouthed and you press his skin to your mouth to leave markings of you while you slide up further into him,"...Probably....go-gonna do more than th-that, FUCK...," Even with all you did with your mouth, brother sweet is like a heaven vice, gonna burn the sin out of you starting from your bulge.

- _The tapered end feeds easily into his slick nook. As the ridges of Gamzee's bulge begin to press in, however, it becomes a bit more of a snug fit, no more than slightly uncomfortable at first. Then when Gamzee seems to inadvertently thrust that bit of his bulge in, Karkat's breath catches, an irritable sting and an uncontrolled rush of pleasure going through him at once. He gasps trying to regain breath with no decorum at all, the ridges popping in one after the other with increasing tightness around his entrance. It starts to ache from the inside, but he's more than well lubricated enough to make the aching minimal, the pleasure from being so immensely filled overshadows the former sensation_ -

"Oh, n-N...NYMPH-FUCKED GOATS OF THE--the sea, Gamzee, you're so fff-fucking hh-huge.."

  
You laugh, or try to, his sweet-space hugging down on you, and you only just about halfway. He's starting to stretch out some, a lot, trying to accommodate girth and ridge, and you feel yourself writhe in, coil against his insides, absolute ecstasy for you, makes hitching whimpers fall from his throat and his vocal box chirrs for you. Place a hand on his side to keep him still while you pull again from him, push more in for that slick squelching to get two or three more ridges in, stops just at your thickest swell of bulge. That probably is good enough, you think. Your Karkat, beautiful as he is like that, looks like he's just about to pop, anymore and you'll be seeing your bulge _bulge_  through his stomach. Cannot be a comfortable thing, you imagine,"...I-I....think that shhhh---SHIT, should be enough..."

  
- _Karkat chokes on his own air as Gamzee pulls his bulge out, squealing as it was only to stuff more inside. He feels fit to burst, so full in his nook that it's difficult to process any other sensations, pressure firmly coming from his entrance and inside where the coiling bulge squirms in the tight confines of his genetic receptacle. He whines against his mate as Gamzee finally decides to cease his attempts at fitting anymore in, only a little regretful he can't come down further on that girth. Still, what he had inside was enough to make Karkat shiver and pant, pressing his nuzzles once more to Gamzee's front, trying to adjust to the veritable third limb stuffed inside of him. He clenches around it repeatedly, unable to do much more, shifting his hips ever so gingerly in experiment_ -

  
You start slow jutting into him, out and to him again, hold him close and soothe your hands down his back while he trembles from overstretch,"...Y-you alright, Karkat...?" Your own breath is nothing more than airless gasps, with Karkat squeezing so sweetly on you, even if you aren't all the way in. Your vocal box is about going mad with the odd chirps and rumbles of purrs in your chest, and your precious love gazes up at you all fuck-hazed and dreamy-eyed, got his claws in your back, but you don't mind none at all. It takes about all you got not to dig in to him and keep your hands gentle on his skin, takes even more not to fuck him into oblivion right there, while he's moving his tired hips to grind for you. Feel up his insides and your bulge becomes restless with need to and slithers around to thrash.

  
"I'm okay..," Karkat replies softly, his voice jittered by the sort of sore-but-pleasurable slow thrusts, claws dig clinging into your back,"It...kind of hh-hurts, but it feels amazing," It must hurt him a lot more than kind of, your love is such pitiable thing, trying for you. Ridges slide in and out of him repeatedly, edged back to keep him in place, couldn't have escaped, even if he wanted to. Karkat trills high and sweet, brings his hips to grind down on your bulge, helping you along. Cries out when you start thrashing heavy inside him, pressing up hard to him, his nook clenching so tightly you sure both of you might break. Instead, it just pumps louder panting out of him as the ridges slide in and out again, the feeling intense and bringing more genetic material from that gorgeous nook.

  
You get the bright idea to help you both, almost lose it groaning loud to blinding electricity what shocks through you, but you retain somehow. Slip his bulge in your hand, curling up and pulsates from stimulation, get a nice stroke going for him. You lead his to your still throbbing nook, and while he ain't got as much reach as you, still feels fucking fantastic with heat burning up your fuck-space,"..Ho-howzzat, beloved--nnNNFFF-FUCK, yeah..." You slur to him, got a bit of his haze dizzying you up, go lax some on your self-hold what speeds up to piston, can pull further to fuck back in, deliciously lewd sounds when your ridges pop back through.

"Ohh, god, Gamzee.....that's, just sss-so fuckin' perf-ff-fect....," Karkat's head lolls to the side, eyelids low and words slurring, tries to bring a fist to his mouth to bite, too uncoordinated to do anything but rub it along his cheek. He's absolutely beautiful and you're sure to tell him, pressure making to build up in your belly,"So beautiful, Karkat...so motherfucking perfect, love...sweetest thing you are, so perfect, for me, love you, love you so much, ohh fucking lords, I love you, pity you, I don't motherfucking care anymore. I want you, love.." He'd tell you later about the 'nonsense' dribbling from your mouth, you're sure. That mental feed is still going pretty strong, filters whatever is remaining in Karkat's pan-

 

- _He can't--can't think. He just came not how long ago, and the incoming one is building so fast- too fast, oh god. Can't process any other thought but Gamzee, Gamzee above him, Gamzee in him, just Gamzee. Thought cannot help but turn into words, broken and slurring, claws sink into his lover's back and his legs wrap around a too thin waist, Gamzee's pretty much nothing but bone right now, impossibly strong, holding onto him, long fingers squeezing into his thighs, his hips, too soft that the flesh gives too easily and Karkat knows that there's going to be claws and fingerprint bruises, but everything is just so good and he's just so full, he's needs to release and--and_ -

 

You are so close, so so motherfucking close to letting go. Your pretty precious Karkat is too much, plump lips hanging open and his eyebrows pulled together and upward, you want to burn that face into your mind, lock to yourself for personal recall. 

"Are...nngff- you comin', K-Karkat?" You ask, breathless. He tries to flutter around you, but you got him too stuffed up for him to move much,"Gonna make- aghh-! A-a bright...lovely mess for me? Spill all hot and wet and pretty-beauti- _ff_ -ful on my bulge? Come and come apart while we both up and in each other, mix your sun-syrup all in my nook while I'm pushing grape slime in yours?" His eyes are shut so tightly and you literally feel like you're gonna fall apart any moment now. Free one of your hands to cup at his cheek, pale from the middle up, gently caress his eyes open 'cause you wanna stare into them while you lose yourself,"Y'so perfect, Karkat, perfect, so motherfucking _perfect_. Y'know how your perfect sugarnook is squeezing down on me, pulling me in and in all the way through, like it's sucking me towards your pusher, and I can feel that _bump_ , _bump_ , _bump_ \--"

 

Praise must have have been his downfall, because he locks right on to you, gorgeous red-streaked grey dilating wide, and downright screams for you. That pretty nook shrinks tight on you, molten hot floods up in that little nestle-space he got. Soft body shudders with each wave and you think he makes a lot more than when you had your mouth to him. The same with his fire-bulge, melts out your ice with lava, and oh, goddamn motherfucking  _yes_. That sets you right off, you connecting back to his sweet mouth, growl right into him while you swell up for climax. Ridges are trying to harden up to keep your little love all plugged up for your slurry, but you start pulling when the pressure pops, cautious to maneuver out slow as slow can be while your bulge gushes into his receptacle sac as much slime as possible. A little bump at his belly wells up, draws your material up in him anyway, blooming indigo just underneath soft dove grey. You finally slip out of his poor swollen folds, nice and loose and fucked out by you. The psychic link seems to have dimmed out, lessened extremely, but not lost. You lay a hand all careful on his distended stomach, full of the both of you.

 

"Hhhh.....nhh...mnnh...th-- oh fuck....that....good....hahh....beautiful....you're beautiful....hff....love you.....Gam-- love you...." Oh sweet hell, your beautiful Karkat can hardly get any air in him, yet he still wants to try and talk at you, precious, precious thing.

"Shhhhhhh, sweet darlin', precious love, sugargrub, reddest diamond, please get your breathe on proper."

He tries to snort,"Oh, god....ha, you're being so....heh, corny and I love it anyway. Oh my god....," Smiles up at you all sweet, dazed and light-headed. Winces when he shifts and it causes discomfort to his stomach.

"Sweet, we gotta get you all emptied out and cleaned again. Gonna be real mad later 'cause you're sex-sticky," Look at you, being a good moirail _and_ matesprit, you could feel proud of yourself--

"No, 'm...I wanna sleep, please? Just a bit, a nap? I'll empty later, I promise....Just sleep, please?"

You have to relent, he's too beautiful, too much for you, like this, with what you did to him. Just pretty-precious divinely beautiful as Karkat ever is. You tuck him against you, put your foreheads together and just watch him fade to sleep.

"Please.....don't leave me again, Gamzee...."

That finally roots you, you could cry again.

"I won't..."

.

.

.

"...I promise."

You mean it this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tribute piece of the finest Gamkar smut that I have ever created through an RP. Thank you so much Gin-san.


	3. The Nobility AU (Red, One-Sided)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (AHA. Finally!)
> 
> I was actually unsure if I wanted to try and make this from Karkat's POV, or if I should just stick with Gamzee.
> 
> In the end, Gamzee won out, goddammit...
> 
> Maybe I'll do a piece from Karkat's view later, that sounds a bit challenging~
> 
> Heavily inspired by Personal Pail by Sometimes_I_Write_Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:
> 
> NSFW
> 
> Troll Heat
> 
> Non-Consent turning into Dubious Consent  
> Because Reasons
> 
> Concupiscent Harassment
> 
> Any Other Kinks That May Or May Not Have Wormed Their Way Into This
> 
> I Guess My Unhealthy Love For Tubby-Pudgy Karkats Ended Up In Here, Gosh Darn
> 
> Gamzee Kinda Sorta (IS. HE TOTALLY IS.) Being A Jerkface Butt (Bad Gamgam, nuooooo)

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.

.

You're sitting bored one night in the grand throne block, lounging a ways from your ancestor, the current Grand Highblood, making you Heir-slash-Prince Apparent by proof of the shared sign that you bear embossed into your clothes, or whatever article of clothing you've decided to actually wear today. It's just pants and bracelets up your arms today, and nobody can say anything because you're higher than all your sister and brethren, being who you are. Not like they would anyway, everybody is just as rowdy-set as you, if not more. The only other person more important than you is the old goat and he don't even pay much mind to you and what you do( you are just _waiting_ for him to keel over though, ~~_you should end him right now considering_~~  but you can give it another couple hundred sweeps).

It's only a little boring, sweets ain't even been brought out yet and a brawl has broken out, ceases, then starts up again. You at least snort because somebody's gotten hogtied. Again. Still boring, you haven't caught neither sight or scent of the mutant troll what was sold to the palace-hive, must be doing kitchen work or something. How maddening. Another bothersome thing, for all that you can get away with, you ain't allowed to leave until everybody else has, which is gonna make this a long night before you can get back to your chamber block. "It's to teach you some MOTHERFUCKING PATIENCE, hatchling." Is what he'd said, and okay, you guess you can see the point, kind of. You think.

That's just fine, you'll wait  it out for now.

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.

.

Finally, you get a sight of him outside of the throne block, in the corridor. Just as eye-pleasing as when he first arrived, small frame, nice soft curves, wider at the hips, rounded( _cute_ ) little horn tips, and long-lashed, striking, sinful sun-red eyes. Beautiful. He's carrying a load of cloths, either for use or for laundering, you don't have a particular care, just wonder if he's as soft as he looks, how he manages to stay like that, despite having to work the way your caste demands he should, if that's just you making your own pheromone, or if it's flowing from him, how, in spite of being a mutant, he's managed to not be made into a broodwhore by now, he's beautiful. Mutants are supposed to have an interesting set of genes, or so the scienterrors with their fakey science bullshit say. 

 

He tries his best not to look at you as he passes, eyes glued downward to the floor. Pretty face like stone; a statue, almost. You let him go forward without any trouble, but not without eyes gliding down his body. Not for the first time do you feel something like ardor spark and lull-linger in your pan.

.

.

.

You manage to get a hold of his scheduling; the hivekeeper is an easy troll to bribe, amongst others who work at the palace. 

 

You catch him again after the dining hall has been cleared out, finished with kitchen duties and heading to whatever other chore is supposed to be lined up for him. Have his wrist grasped in your fingers( his skin is _very_ soft), the corner of you lip curled up lazily.

But oh, is he quick. Quick to jerk out of your clutch and move a good pace backwards, bowing his head. "My apologies, my Lord Heir," he says,"It _won't_ happen again," like it was an un-intention on his part.

Now, you ain't all sure if it's just your imagining, or if that was some kind of angry play at threatening, like ' _Yeah motherfucker, touch me again, see what fucking happens_ '. A challenge, you interpret.

"All good, tiny brother. No harm, no worries, yeah?" 

He lifts his head, unafraid to level you with a hard look, not enough to call him out for disrespect, but still something like ' _Don't mess with me_ ' and continues around you to his awaited destination, muttering whispers and some choice words.

 

Alright, you can play at that.

.

.

.

You've been nudging at him through use of your voodoos. Nothing too serious, just little flashes that he can pull out of all his own. Nobody can( would) stop you anyway, save the old goat, you're a fucking prince. Seeing sun-red turn into purple faith gives you a little bit of a high, you'll admit. Doesn't even suspect that it's you, thinks he's been losing sleep somehow. Another servant comes to relieve him soon, has orders to send him to their quarters to rest, to keep him from keeling over and making trouble. He gives apologies and stumbles off to where ever, half dazed and a hand pressed to his temple. You don't need to follow him, really, just keep your psychic tab on him while he finds out that he seems to be no longer zoning out.

Terrible, aren't you? Because it's a little funny.

 

You don't sleep in your coon that day. Opt in for the platform.

.

.

.

Soon enough you get bored with that, and have to find something else. A bribe at the hivekeeper tells you your mutant's name, Karkat, short yet sharp sounding, and another bribe allows you to ask for him when you want. A third insures that he won't let anybody else on to it. Small prices for the sake of your pursuit.

 

Karkat (sharp, short) hesitates to enter the throne block during midnight meal, head and horns low in deference. Makes his rounds proper with the lighter bacchanalia and elixir. Starts at the Grand Highblood, then to you, then to everyone else. When he makes his way around a second time, you take the chance that he's not paying attention and squeeze a plump hip. He tenses, locks eyes with yours but doesn't make a single noise about it, knows it would put him in trouble to make a fuss in front of your ancestor.

You grin sly, almost wicked, at him the next time he passes.

.

.

.

You start calling for him privately more often, having him bring random things to your chamber block, food, drink, books, sometimes even pointless things. Each time, without fail, you manage to leave a touch of some sort on him, fingers at his horns, his ear, along his neck and shoulder, a hand on his side, down his hip. Even daring brief brushes at his grubscars underneath his clothes, love how he shivers and tenses. 

He seems to wisen up to you soon, though,"My Lord Prince, I...would implore you to stop. Some might mistake your actions for something else entirely, which possibly may put your reputation at stake," in other words, ' _Quit it, sir_ '. Karkat holds his tone as politely as he possibly can stand, while you hear the tremor of his aggravation, and possibly even anxiety.

"Oh? Am I doing such a thing?" You lean, almost towering. His eyes widen, realize, but he drops the subject along with his gaze, preferring the floor. You don't let it go that easily,"And who would call me out on it? You, tiny brother?" Bring a hand up to his cheek, he flinches at your cold touch, and you're not surprised, he _burns_ , wonderfully, and your skin _craves_ for him.

Karkat skids backwards, bows, murmurs an apology and leaves.

His heat still lingers on your palm, embers turn to a blaze. 

.

.

.

He's been trying to avoid you.

You are an impatiently bold person, but you haven't quite reached your limit, so you move on. 

 

You do however become brazen -not that you weren't before- and heavily imply your advances. ' _Make it clear_ ', so it's said. And you do, show your clarity when you get him caged against a wall in an empty corridor. Nobody to call for, no excuses to make; you had timed down his schedule, the rest of his day is supposedly free, why not take advantage of that?

Karkat won't look up at you, just speaks and swallows with strained air, keeps his head down and his back pressed into the wall,"I-I... _my Lord_ \-- S-surely you must have others in the household who...who would be _more_ than willing to-- to assist you, w-with your...activities..."

You resist a snort, you haven't had an interest in any of the old goat's whores since you first laid eyes to your little fire-blood,"True that is, but you see, love, I'd rather have you."

A hand traces under his chin, tilts him upward, lovely sun-orbs frozen with panic. Your mouth quirks up as you near plump, inviting, parted lips, sharing his quickened uneven air. Just barely touch before the sound of voices in the hallway alert you, allow a growl past your throat; fucking interruptions. You straighten Karkat and yourself up and send him dazedly on his way.

 

You're too frustrated to sleep. Alleviate your urges with your own hand.

.

.

.

You've decided that impatience has finally won out.

Once again the hivekeeper is bribed, quite well this time, allow for no mistake. Orders are sent for Karkat, and silks are fitted for him.

 

You're going to make him your broodmate.

 

He fusses nearly the entire process( fights with teeth and claws while he's inspected), but he's sorted into and outfit eventually; far different from the servant cloth that he's used to, Karkat stomps around your chamber block in silk the color of your caste, adorned with simple silver bangles for his wrists and anklets, the length only covers to his round curving hips, meant for easy access. Your sign has been embossed into a collar and on the front of the slip. He's perfect( _perfect, perfect, perfect_ ).

 

Only, he shuts himself into the inner room of your block, vows never to step out, and apparently has friends back with the serving trolls who bring him food and such to keep him alive. You don't stop them, just try to think of another way( your patience is thinning, though).

.

.

.

You end up not having to. A week in, he finally gives.

Not entirely by his own want, but more likely through the heavy( _heavier_ ) pheromone that wafts off him. It's been coming off him for a while( _near drove you wild,_ is _driving you wild_ ). He's in heat. There's water in your mouth.

 

The door to his block is unbolted, a turn of the knob and it swings open easily. He's not in his coon or on the concupiscent platform, but your ears flick off towards a pile of fabrics, alerted to small, whimpering sobs and that sweet perfume he's probably making from his nook. Quiet as you can, you slowly peel off layers of exquisite cloth until you catch a sight of grey. Uncover more of him until you have an arm, a side, a thigh, and a nub-horned head. Karkat weakly pushes away at your hands, can't even see, eyes squeezed so tight he looks to be in pain( _he probably is, poor thing_ ), you have to shoosh him up til he's calmed down enough for you to fish his tiny self out of his pile-nest, even then he still tries to writhe. Bright fire red stains the bottom of his clothes and there are patches of it in the pile.

 

He pleads, half words and half moans, hiccuping breaths trying to make sense of them, but failing. Something else clouds up next to the lust, sympathy or pity, one of the two, you can't tell. Wherever your hands go, he twitches and jerks, oversensitive body pushes into your palms.

 

Lust wins over.

 

You carry Karkat out to your block, have him laid out on the platform, hazy and panting. Divest him of his silks, discover his dove grey skin flushed through with cherry red. Ample flesh gives easily to your hands, hot and pliant while he moans, need takes full bloom and your bulge begins wriggling out of it's sheathe. You want him, and you don't know if it's the heady scent that he's giving off to your senses, but you can't help but to taste his skin, have his lips first, heat-clumsy and soft and round and wet as you delve right in, the taste of sugar syrup on your tongue.

Groan as you drag on his lip with your teeth, move to another piece of him, chin, that pretty pulsing throat, his collarbone, shoulders, over his erratic blood pusher, to his nice pudgy tummy, suckle on flesh and mark him up with bright red real good and well, let his body know he's going to be claimed. And then your get to those lovely plump thighs he's got, pressed hard for relief and to keep his nook out of sight from you. You'll fix that. Doesn't take much to edge your fingers in between, he's already so slick and warm with his sweet bulge curling up between his legs, squeaks and jumps while you spread him out nice and wide for you because you like to look. 

And how beautiful your pretty new Karkat is, breathing heavy and peppered with small weak chirps while his sweet-space all puffed up and ready for a mate, absolutely dripping fire down to his plush ass, how his breath hitches just so at almost every touch, how his skin blazes against you, bet he's even hotter inside.

 

"So adamantly set you were to keep from me, love, and then your cycle just happens to pull itself over on you," you muse to him,"And why would you even resist anyway? You'll be taken care of this way, won't have to do any kind of heavy chores anymore, just lie back with your legs open for me, darling, and that's all," you press a careful digit just at his opening, trace the plump lips of him, press a little further and oh lords it really is like touching fire,"Hold my gene slime in this pretty little nook of yours, let me fuck you full of purple til it spills out that sweet sugar mouth. That's it, love," you're purring as another finger slips in between his hot slickness, watch Karkat's hips jump and his back tries to bend off the platform. Bring your lips back to his, keep his legs apart with your knees. His hands come up feebly to your shoulders, can't decide to push or pull til you decide for him, plunder his mouth again, surprisingly his tongue dances with yours eagerly. 

His lips can't keep up, and you move with sloppy wet presses over that neck, edge him a little with teeth. Still pushing fingers inside molten walls, speed up and start scissoring the walls of him, makes him cant up to your hand, trying to take you in while his bulge takes to curling around your wrist, gently pulsing, makes him keen loud and high, claws at your skin.

 

"See, look how much you need it. Your pretty body is motherfucking begging for it. Bulge is all and pulling my hand to your little sweet-space right now, but I think it wanting for something else. Hands ain't gonna give you what you want, love. Don't need to have a worry, though. This motherfucker's gonna take care of you right," You croon into his skin, start shifting your pants down to fish the rest of your bulge out.

 

Karkat lolls his head side to side, instinct making him writhe,"..I-- hh, I- nng! But, w-- _please_ \- ahh!" Can't even get proper words out, poor, sweet little thing.

"Please what? What you want of me, little darling?"

Claws dig in hard, chirrs up his vocals, frustrated, when you slow your fingers , almost stop fully and he tries to twist for you keep going,"..hhah...d-don't...just....please, k-keep.....keep.."

"...Keep...what? Keep going? Keep pushing-" _Thrust_. "-my-" _Thrust_. "-cold-"  _Thrust_. "-blooded-" _Thrust_. "-fronds-" _Thrust_. "-up in you?" You're pushing them in hard, relentless, get him to sing a little for you,"Or, would you rather I get my bulge up in you, get you all stretched open and full of bulge and slurry, turn you all my color, inside and out, yeah? You want that? I bet you want it, can't even focus right with how much you need to be fucked, right?"

End up getting tangled with Karkat's bulge, delicious heat squeezing on your ridges, does more than your hand has ever done for you. He might make you cum right there if you don't stop, so very tempting it is though. Instead, you glide your fingers out, find his pleasure nub on the way, Karkat yelps while his body quivers. 

It's probably not enough to stretch him ready for you, but you don't think neither of you can wait, him from necessity and you from desire. Disconnect from his twisting and hold your bulge straining for the lips of his nook,"You want this, don't you? Need it for your body's sake, right? So just let it happen, darling. Take my help, take what I'm offering for you, being as lucky as you are," He whines trying to roll his hips forward to your bulge, attempting for leverage with an elbow propping him up some, can barely open his eyes, just breathes harsh, says,"Please," over and over, and you aren't a total monster, why would you deprive your pretty, your favorite, your _only_  broodwhore of his wants?

You loosen your fingers briefly and your bulge surges in--

 

"-hhHHAAAUGH--!" 

He absolutely _screams_ , throat opened up finally for air and broken warbles to flow, and _motherfucking shit_ , he's _small_. Whatever bit of you is in him- it's barely half of your length, just the smaller tapering end -almost immediately gets squeezed in, ridges harden because your bulge knows that this is definitely a mating hole. Tightening already, like he's gonna climax just from that, his walls shift for you, pulling inward. 

Might as well get the worst of it over with, and you release entirely while you slam it all in, Karkat's back snapping up off the platform, breath catching sharp and there's a bending at his stomach. It's so tight, tighter than anything you've ever stuck yourself in( _hotter than anything you've stuck yourself in_ ), sheer and utter ecstasy vibrates back all the way back up to your throat, switching from a purr to a growl and back again. Spare a glance at where you connect, nook lips are spread fucking _taut_ around you, can't do anything more for your ridges and he's just gonna have to settle for them notching back in with every move. Start to thrash a little, writhe all up inside molten hotness. Your first movement out to back in makes him gasp again. You can barely find breath yourself.

 

"This is...hh-a lot better, right? Just lay there...all spread and pretty, lovely little mutant slut you are...g-gonna make a beautiful brood from fucking you...don't need to do anything else but make pretty little grublings for me, yeah?...Just sit there and...enjoy my royal bulge stuffing you...isn't that just motherfucking perfect?"

"Nnnghh--! Fuhh...w-wai- _hh_ \--! T-too...too much! I-I can- _nnnh_!"

"You can't what?" You shove harshly into him once just to hear him shriek and chitter, go back to pace because you wanted him for a long time and you are going to enjoy all of this. "So...perfect, so pretty...aren't you a lucky thing, Karkat~? Can't what? Take me? But you are, ain't you? Feeling all bliss-happy, yeah?...Liking my bulge up in you, right? Like being -ff-fucking stuffed full? This motherfucker likes how damn greedy your fuck-space is, a-already got so much in you, but you need to ss-- suck more in, huh?"

 

Your hips snap hard and heavy and fast to him now, watch his face twist up and full blooming color on his body. Push his thighs against him as far as you can without breaking him, makes just that extra inch of room, as if you weren't already fuck deep into his receptacle sac. Makes him wail, sings so nicely for you, low guttural rumblings echo from your throat, Karkat graduates from chirps to full on trilling, nook starts clamping impossibly tighter on you, and you can feel his throbbing pulse so wonderfully from inside wet heat,"Hehh, are you... _shit_...getting close, sweet? You wanna cum? Let yourself spill nice and heavy, while I'm still fucking it all deep in you? Go ahead, love. Cum for me, cum as many times as you want, 'cause I'm gonna motherfucking _wreck_ you."

 

He moans so beautifully, that warble trembles with his body, and at that you pull him up against you, sitting up on your bulge til you maneuver his compliant body to have his back into your chest, feel your ridges scrape against the flesh of his walls, almost sobs as a few knock at his pleasure nub. Karkat has his head back on your shoulder as his body arches out spectacularly with the new force of your bulge sliding through him, moans sweetly for you.

 

Then his first wave hits, feel it as he flutters then squeezes on you with the grip of death, gives a raspy scream that quiets itself out and you almost give in right there as it's suddenly ten times as burning with his own slick flooding in. He slumps on you but you ain't having that, pound into him wildly, frenzied, let go of almost all control til you can count for a second. A third. Fourth. Fifth. Sixth. 

 

By the time you can't contain yourself any longer, you've already lost count but Karkat's quaking so hard now, hiccuping air. There's no need for a bucket, and you ram one final time up in him, as far as you can go before bucketing inside, cumming hard with your bulge swelling to seal up any space where your slurry might leak.

It's pure and high rapture, nook is so oversensitive with pulsations that it finds the energy to milk everything you're giving him. At the softening of your ridges does your bulge begin it's retraction, sliding out with the most delicious squelching sounds, all slick and warm when your bone sheathe moves back into place. Bliss, sweet and sheer, you've never felt this good after a pailing.

 

Karkat makes another little hiccup, a pitiable sound that has you crooning at him, whispering praises and rubbing careful fingers at his throat to help him breathe right. Nothing spills out his freshly fucked hole, obviously and visibly having been drawn in by his receptacle organ, his belly rounded out and the almost violet hue under his skin.

You chuckle,"Hmm...See, darling? Doesn't that feel all kinds of good? Don't need to do anything else anymore, or ever for the matter. Just get to enjoying the rest of your sweeps like this, aren't you a lucky little thing?" He's already purring in post-delirium heat haze, can't give a proper answer besides nudging at your skin with part of him such as horns, hands, even a hip and the softness of his inner thigh is offered to you from him. You allow him to nuzzle into you, making happy little noises as he is while trying to rut out on whatever you'll let him have.

 

He's yours now, wholly and well-claimed to you. Let a hand rest over his full belly, possessive. You'd shred anyone who'd dared touch him.

He's yours.

.

.

.

You really cannot have enough of him, have your lovely gorgeous Karkat at every chance you get. He makes the brood that's expected of him, some truly interesting grubs, they'll pupate so soon in your span, won't they? You realize you shouldn't want him so much, especially in the way of any kind of quadrants, but you are almost sick with the thought of anyone else. You sigh and push the thought out of your head, you can do whatever you want, after all.

 

"Come on up here, darling."

 

Your sweet little broodmate takes sure steps up to you, climbs til he's nestled perfectly in your lap, arms up around your neck, winding in your hair and just barely fingering at your hornbed. Presses too short of a kiss to your cheek in your opinion, but presumes to nuzzle into you like the cute thing he knows he is. You're able to relax a bit more with him there, and you motion for your brothers to bring in the next in line for execution while you wait in your new fucking huge chair.

"Are you ready, love?"

He gives you such a chilling quirk of lip and eyes that burn you cold ; you love it.

 

Your ancestor walks in with all his calm-rage, doesn't get pulled or tugged by any of your brethren, you all still respect him and all, it's just that you think it's about time that he......retired.

 

He speaks first,".....Well, finally grew into them horns, did you, ya motherfucking brat? About damn time, shit....."

Oh, he's terribly angry, you can tell. It seeps out of him and through the use of voodoo's it starts to affect the block, starts to make affliction to your precious darling.

Ha, oh hell _motherfucking_ no.

You push it back just from yourself and Karkat, everybody else can figure their own selves out.

 

"Careful, old man. Anything _else_ before we send you on your way to the Big Top?"

He says nothing just bows his head, and you take that as he's ready.

 

"Karkat, my darling, my sweet, would you like to do the honors?"

He gives you the most innocent of sugar floss smiles as he draws a sickle from your hand, his favorite,"With due pleasure, _Grand Highblood_."

 

Your ancestor shakes with silent rage and snickers as he watches Karkat,"Aw, _fucking hell_ , I should've known. You twist up my palace with your words too, Little Signless?"

 

Karkat makes a hell of a smug curl with his mouth, simply replies with,"No." Swings, and the old goat's head goes with gravity for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOWZA BET NONE OF YOU SAW THAT END COMING or maybe you did, okay....
> 
> Thank you lovely Gamkar Shipper, for you most beautiful request! Sorry it took so long!
> 
> Your wish has been heard, and fulfilled!
> 
> If you ever have another prompt or something, please by all means, go ahead!!
> 
> (Quick, somebody ask for something pale or i'm just gonna keep writing red porn)


	4. Quadrants Day Two Shot Special! (Part 1(Pale)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which some time is spent with your moirail for Quadrants Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY QUADRANTS DAY!  
> AND HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!  
> WARNING:
> 
> AU Where Humans And Trolls Cohabitate On Earth  
> Fluff  
> Mush  
> Too Much Sugar  
> Shooshpaps  
> All The Paps  
> Not Much Of A Feelings Jam  
> But Still Very Pale  
> Good Feels  
> Karkat Being Suave As Fuck

You're arriving home to your hive one night, rushing back after just barely getting off of your shift at work. You had promised the rest of the evening to your dear palemate, and like hell were you gonna break that, even if you had a couple date offers for your concupiscent spots( but seriously, fuck Strider with a long pole up his ass).

If you've covered your tracks correctly, then your gift for him should still be in the back of your closet and you'll be able to give it to him after dinner( you've gotten him that huge cake decorating kit with at least a hundred different pieces, you have no idea what they're for but okay, he's been wanting it for a while). You're taking him out because as sweet as it was of him to want to cook for you, he'd have gone through so much trouble just to spend the same amount of time cleaning up the nutrition block. As much as Gamzee does love cooking, he needs a break. It makes you feel bad that he'll put himself through so much trouble for you and there isn't much that you can do back. 

You've actually been saving for this for months( aside from his wriggling day) with the meager salary you make, and you've actually got enough to splurge on at one of the human's holiday fairs that's been set up in the city. You are the best moirail, it is you( once again, fuck Strider for getting that stuck in your headspace.)

.

.

.

Everything goes wonderfully better than you were expecting and you're pretty sure that your throat has been stuck in a permanent purr since you've left the restaurant, or did it start on the ferris wheel? You're not all that sure, but everything has just been beyond amazing today so it doesn't really matter that much.

 

When you get home and have the plushmate Gamzee won for you put away( his aim is fucktons better when he's not under any substance influence, it'd almost be scary), you pull all the new cushions you bought from your closet and arrange them meticulously on what the humans call a bed your rest platform, since you have the time while he's in the ablution. Maybe even join him in a minute. Actually, you think you'll do that.

He's even left the door open, the sly bastard.

 

"Hey best beloved,"he's just finished soaping up and is about to rinse.

You've been stripping clothes since the hallway,"Have you done your hair yet?"

He shakes his head and holds a hand for you to get in. He's got the water as hot as he can stand, which isn't as high as you prefer it, but it's warm enough that you don't shiver while you're getting the washcloth full of suds and a glop of shampoo in each other's hair. You even indulge in using the expensive tin of horn polish you'd gotten for the human's Christmas holiday.

 

You've dried and dressed in an over-sized shirt and settled up on your pile. Usually you'd have kept to your nocturnal schedule, but your job runs on diurnal time, so you're also dressed for sleep. Gamzee shuts your door and crosses the space of your floor, hair braided and still somewhat damp and you wonder if you'll have to have at it later with a good comb. 

He climbs up with a weird sort of grace using limbs that haven't been awkwardly lanky for about a sweep or two. You move over and wait for him to sit before you nestle yourself in his lap. In a strange way you always seem to fit into him, even the way your temperatures clash hot on icy-cool just pairs together so well. You give a little curl of a smile with half-lidded eyes and start littering tiny pecks under his jaw and wind your hands up the back of his neck, into his hair( you're hands slide through easily and you should have had him dry his hair, but oh well). You get Gamzee nuzzling the top of your head, between your horns, chilled hands wandering down your back, your sides, massaging into your skin. 

You purr up into the crook of his neck contentedly, feel him lift your knees to lay down, your body still mostly on him. There's not much to say to each other, and you'd take the gaze-exchange that you two are doing now over a marathon of movies where the actors are doing the same. Your hands pull back to cup his cheeks to put yourselves nose to nose and Gamzee's been smiling something like sheer affection, has his eyes closed and just breathes you in, keeps you clutched in as close as possible.

One of you starts giggling like wriggler, though you aren't sure who's started it, but then your cuddle session sort of dissolves from there, just memories of fingers gliding over skin and half-chaste kissed, and then you're asleep with your legs all tangled. 

.

.

.

Sometime about three hours into your shift the next day you smack your face as you realize you forgot about Gamzee's present in your closet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (AHAHA, LATE!? WHADDYA MEAN I'M LATE?)
> 
> Piece 2 should be coming soonish


	5. Quadrants Day Two Shot Special! (Part 2(Red)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or in where you end up coming home drunk off your ass with the worst fucking hangover and the only thing you can focus on is your head hurting like a bitch, and why is your skin this color?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:
> 
> AU Where Humans And Trolls Cohabitate On Earth  
> Alchohol  
> Rave Party  
> Drunkness  
> Implied Sex  
> Drunk Sex  
> Implied Drunk Sex  
> NSFW Things  
> Or At Least Mentions Of Them  
> Because No One Remembers Anything  
> Except Maybe Gamzee  
> But You Know  
> MAYBE Some Sex, Idk  
> Theory That Genetic Material Stains A Little( Shhh, It Washes Out After A Bit)

When you wake up, it's because the earth's weak sun has decided to single out you and you specifically, with the sheer intent of melting your eyes out of your skull. Lying face down you groan, cringe at the raggedly loud sound of your own voice and weakly swing your noodle arms at nothing. You feel like absolute shit and shutting your eyes does nothing to ease your pounding head and the rest of your aching body, _especially_ at your hips and thighs, and maybe your back, and your nook feels so _sore_ for some reason--

 

......,"What...?"

 

You push yourself up, ignoring your body's cry of pain, notice that you are in fact naked, and one of the reasons that could be attributing to your soreness is all the bruised cherry _hickeys_ and _bites_ that seem to mark your skin,"Wh-- What the _fuck_!?"

You're in your own bed, at least, but you woke up alone. Great, whoever you slept with now _knows_ where you live, absolutely fan-fucking-tastic. While you continue further inspection, you try to think back to what the hell happened, also worded as,' _What the hell happened at Rose's hive, but of fucking course, what could_ not _have happened, this is goddamn Rose Lalonde_ '. Yesterday was...it was Quadrant's Day, and there was a party....

 

You know for sure that you got there with Gamzee around the same time Jade arrived with her fancy light system which turned the whole thing into an Epileptic Rainbow Flash Party, so you were half blind _and_ on your way to being drunk out of your mind. You can't have been that drunk either! You only had like, what, three shots of fucking lite beer? You're not even a lightweight! You know damn sure that you couldn't have had more than three or four, five at the most--

 

Oh

_Oh_

 

You forgot about the game. Some of you had grouped up and somebody, Dave, John, you don't remember, but they roped you into playing _Never Have I Ever_ , and they weren't even full shots, just these tiny little plastic cups, and-and Rose and Kanaya were there surveying from the corner and Gamzee had fucked off to wherever it is that he went, and oh god, what were the questions, you can't even remember the questions. Didn't it devolve into _Truth Or Dare_ at some point?? Or is that just you being paranoid as fuck? Oh Mother Grub's intestinal, _what secrets have you told!!? What did you do!?_

 

A panic attack is starting to burble up from the collective of things that could have possibly or even did happen, your hands frantically patting yourself down like maybe that's going to help answer any of your questions. Urgh, there's even dark, purplish-blue bruises between your thighs--

.......

You bruise red, not blue or purple, because you have freakish blood that would have gotten you killed centuries ago if the previous Empress's fleet did not make contact with Earth. Those are fucking _stains_. A quick survey of your hands have the same coloring randomly around your fingers and palm. If you weren't so dumbstruck you'd be able to check your ass in the mirror to confirm the indigo splotches that are probably there.

( _Did he know...?_ )

 

There a sound of water being shut off, you never even noticed that it was on. It can only be one person, and if it isn't, you'll actually be surprised.

Gamzee walks out, a pair of boxers on and still toweling his hair, pulling the cloth around his horns. When he finally looks up at you there's bright cherry stains blotching all over his mouth and running off the side of his cheek. 

 

" _Gamzee_."

The idiot just grins at you, until it seems to hit him that you are very much not in the mood,"Uhm....look, I can get my explaining on--"

"Oh _really_!? Go ahead then, let's hear it, what the fuck is _this_!!?" You turn and jab your finger at your thighs, your voice going a few octaves than you meant for it. Your lips are twitching back over your teeth, a growl is almost starting up, and Gamzee's face looks like a very nice mix of worried and panic. Good.

"Now bro, I need you to understand a few things before I get to explaining what all motherfuck went on last night, I just gotta make sure that you ain't gonna be all upset. You ain't gonna get mad on me, yeah? Please?" He holds his hands up in a placating manner, you can see his feet slowly inching backwards back into the ablution block.

"Alright," You are very much mad,"I won't get mad. C'mon, tell me what happened," You sit with your legs as far apart as your aches will allow you, give him a nice open view of your bits; you're going to make this as uncomfortable as possible, you don't even give a fuck anymore, you've ran out of fucks to give.

You watch the way his throat bobs nervously  from swallowing, licking his lips to make words,"O-okay, uhh, well I.....well shit, do you got your memory on to what and how much you drank?"

"Gamzee, if I knew what the hell I had, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now. What. The. Fuck. Happened."

"Alright, alright. So, you were playing a game, and they said you'd gone and drunk a lot of shit, and I was just a little high--"

"Just a _little_!?"

"--and then Strider and Johnbro come carrying you around, they see me, you're just gone, brother, I mean, what the fuck did they up and give you? You were so gone, bro, like damn, real out of it you was, didn't even say nothing when we was talkin' shit 'bout your romcoms. They just hand you at me and you being all giggly and shit."

"Okay....and? What about _these_?" You gesture towards your legs.

"....Er, w-well uh...,"he swallows again and scratches behind one of his horns, obviously reluctant to continue,"...so, I'm getting us back home, 'cos I got your keys from you, and for once I was being a bit more stable than you, I know, it's a motherfucking miracle. So I went and drove, your car's all in one piece, though, don't worry. Anyway, so we get home, and you're still all giggly and laughing and stuff about nothing in the particular, couldn't make no sense of any-motherfucking-thing you was saying, but, then you kinda tryna sit on me, and honestly I was just thinking you was wanting some cuddles, that was all, I motherfucking swear it, Kar, and then you...it kinda...went...to not cuddles...like...y'know...," He motions generally with his hips, and you kind of already knew, but blatant confirmation was always a nice touch of shock.

"...You mean to tell me...that we drunk-fucked..."

"......Yeaaaah..."

"Huh...," Gamzee's still trying to avoid looking anywhere in your direction, however, you don't let go so easily,"Well, was it any good?"

Bet he never expected that by way of the "What?" you get. Oh, fucking physical sigh, you're going to have to be expressly clear, aren't you?

You slip off the bed, still very much naked, slink over to where Gamzee's attempting to back up into the bathroom, but he's off by a bit so he retreats at the door frame instead, stuck to the wall. Might as well while you have the energy and the nerve, right? He's a good deal taller than you by so much, but you wouldn't let that stop you now. You have him where you're at the advantage, and while he's stuck at the wall you get up close and turn to press your backside up against the( very thin) towel at his waist,"I said, was it any good? Obviously I have no recollection of anything, so I would like at least some detail of the drunken shenanigans of last night," You don't think that you could get any more specific, but who knows, this is Gamzee you're dealing with.

"W-what!?"

You sigh and pout, start slowly curving your rear against his( bony) hips,"As in, is this doing anything for you? Do you feel anything when I do this?" Gamzee's hands are awkwardly trying to find out whether or not he should let them rest on your hips or if the wall is a safer place for them. You believe you've already won when you can feel something shift under the pressure of your ass,"Do you like how I'm grinding against you, Gamzee?"

"Uh," He's turned on, from what you can feel( oh god, how do you not remember _that_ being in you!?), but he's also panicking, probably from indecision: probably because you know that he knows that you can feel his bulge through the towel. Maybe you can persuade an answer? He stutters,"M-maybe it might be better of an idea if, uh, you probably up an' stopped goin' at me like that, bro. Thinking I'm still probably high, ain't got the best hold of myself and what I'd be acting up on, be takin' like to act up on."

If you translate correctly, that's Gamzee for 'If you don't stop now, you won't be able to stop until later'. You can deal with that,"Gamzee Makara, you tell me right now that you didn't actively, _enthusiastically_ , take part in anything my drunk ass and your stoned one took part of, because my nook says otherwise."

When he doesn't say anything, instead exhaling heavily and opting to grip with long skeletal fingers the curve of your waist and pull you flush with his crotch, you know you've got him exactly where you want as he starts talking softly at your aural,"Y'know, didn't think you'd be just as good at teasing sober as you would be all intoxicated, but you just love being right, don'tcha Kar?"

"Oh my god, it took this long and me being drunk out of my fucking mind, since we've been rooming together, with _plenty_ of chances at being alone, for you to make a move? Well, now I have an understanding of how dense you are."

"Obviously ain't dense enough not to take a chance when I get it."

"Goddamn, you were waiting for a chance and decided inebriation was it?"

"Karkat, if I wasn't already in the know of what you were all wanting from last night, I'd 'a thought you was angling for black."

You push back hard against his bulge, enjoying how you can feel that shiver from him run along your spine( when did your bulge unsheathe, wow, that's probably how this started when you got home),"Well then, since you're ' _already in the know_ ', why don't you show me what I want? Remind me what happened last night, since I have absolutely _no_ memory of what even happened--"

That statement ends up with you being shoved forward, arms over the rest platform and Gamzee gladly grinding back into your ass, something wet trailing down your inner thigh.

"All my apologizing, brother. Be most wonderfully obliged to remind you," The towel is gone and there's skin against skin, Gamzee being so, so wonderfully cold and causing shivers by dragging light claws over your belly, tracing shapes into you, edging fangs along the juncture of your neck and shoulder. 

"I'll make sure this time you ain't gonna forget."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (LOL THIS IS SO NOT LATE, HAHA.)
> 
> (Fucking smooth Karkat)
> 
> (Requests are still open~)


	6. Erratic Pump-Beats(Part 1(Very Messed Up Pale or One-Sided Red)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, you're fucking terrified. It's you, you're the last one. Everyone....Everybody else is...
> 
> They're gone
> 
> And now he wants you.
> 
> You wish you were Time instead of Blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:
> 
> Possibility Of NSFW  
> Sober Gamzee (FUCK)  
> Everyone On The Meteor Is Dead~  
> Karkat Is Trying To Hide  
> It's Not Really Working  
> He's Gonna Find You Anyway (SHIT)  
> Moiraillegiance Gone Wrong  
> That Is Not How You Moirail  
> Let's Murder Everything~  
> Augh Poor Karkat  
> Minor-ish Davekat But This Is A Gamkar Dump So

.

.

.

Oh god. It's just you. Why, why does it only have to be you?

He-- Dave-- He said he'd be fine, said he was going to try and force a time loop around Gamzee( _no, why? He was doing so well, what happened? You thought you were finally getting through, you're so tired_ ), try to trap him in a continuum. He sent you away to hide, and down the hall you could hear the strifing, metal thunking against reinforced wood. You shut your eyes and bolted( _you worthless coward, how could you!?_ ), half-blind from terror and partially from tears stinging at your eyes.

The labyrinth of the meteor could go on forever, you don't take the time to notice, it just goes deeper down or everything eventually leads right back to the labs. Your legs ache terribly, strained from running. There's nothing for you to tell how far you went or where you even are, you've ended up in some unexplored block, just feel whatever air pours from the vents, stagnant and frigid somehow. It's so quiet.

 

Maybe he's fine, maybe Dave got over blocking himself from using his godpowers. Maybe later you can get back to Gamzee and try to ease him into tranquility, find out what set him off.

Or maybe, Dave is dead, because the game likes to fuck around with everyone, you especially. Maybe he's dead because he tried to give you time to escape, tried to buy you time, but the game saw it as heroic. Maybe he's only half-dead, and if he's lucky, then Gamzee won't drag his body off to wherever the rest are hidden( _to where Kanaya and Terezi are, where his littermate is_ ), and he'd revive just fine and find you, then you'll both have a better chance at survival, just until you can meet up with Jade and John.

Or maybe really, he's dead, and no one's coming for you( _with the exception of one murder-set troll_ ). You're by yourself for now.

 

The room is sparse, the only furnishings being an old-looking couch( _Rose might have been here once, there's a crocheted blanket of lavender string and a couple of cushions spread out over the thing_ ), a couple of plain wooden chairs, and a steel table. You should take inventory of your sylladex, you don't know how long you'll need to hide down here.

As much as you're afraid to, you've got to move that table in front of the door. It's a good deal heavier than the couch somehow, but it scrapes far too loudly for your paranoia, and maybe you aren't as far away as you thought, the noise might give away your location. But it will be one more defense you'll have beside your sickles. You cringe with every push, the metal scraping hard and high against the floor and you're hyperventilating heavily by the time you can jam it against the door, try to reel your breathing back down, see if you can hear anything beyond the door, panic inking in enough to make it hard to move. It's even worse because of how terribly your hands are shaking.

 

A few minutes pass, and your pusher settles down finally to allow you to breathe, inhale hugely and exhale slowly. There's nothing beyond the door, you're overreacting and overthinking, not really by that much, but it still might be beneficial in your need to stay alive if you calmed down. 

The couch isn't as heavy, easier to grip if you push your claws through the fabric a little. It's moved towards a wall with enough space between the two for you to hide behind, you're very much on the small side, after all, and for once you're glad for it. You rid the couch of all it's coverings and make your secondary barricade. Unless someone comes in and physically removes everything from sitting on top of you, you should be safe, at least for the moment. It's certainly getting easier to balance yourself out of being such a mess right now.

Now that you're sitting and your pusher has stopped beating up your aurals, your face feels oddly cold and you realize that it's been streaked through with pale-pink tears, some of it you wipe away on your sweater sleeve. You go over everything once again in your sylladex, it's all accounted for, even your palmhusk. It decaptchalogues into your hands and though you know it's pretty much useless, evident how nobody's tags are lit, not even Dave's, or Gamzee's for that matter, you still want it nearby in case...well, in case of something.

You curl the device into your hand and hope that this is a nightmare you can wake up from.

.

.

.

There's some loud, obnoxious pinging noise going on and off and through the process again, and ughh, Crabdad should have at _least_ dumped you in your coon so you didn't have to hear that fucking accursed ringing--

That's your palmhusk, you idiot, shut it off!

You flail for a bit, knocking over some of your fort and nearly dropping your com device. As soon as you can get it open( _didn't even check, why didn't you check!?_ ), you can hear breathing on the other side.

 

"Dave--!?"

"Hello, best friend...."

 

Your breath catches in your windpipe, you don't dare make any other kind of sound( _Oh no, oh no, no no no_ ). You should have checked the I.D., but you were so sure, so hopeful that Dave was okay, and he would've contacted you if he was, right? He would have asked you where you were so he could come and get you, right?

 

"Bestest friend~...sugar pale~..."

 

There's a sickly sing-song lilt to Gamzee's voice, almost like back when he was high out of his mind, but at least his voice back then held his honesty, the one you hear now is a trap made of sugar-floss and knives. You force yourself to swallow whatever is stopping up your throat and attempt to find words.

 

"Heyy, Karkat.... ** _WHY_ ** are you motherfucking ignoring me?"

 

You almost jump and drop your palmhusk again, the sharp peak in volume jarring your ears some, and you _swear_ , you can feel his chucklevoodoo's, reaching out, _searching_ , but no, he _can't_ have that far of a reach, oh god how _close_ is he!?

 

"Oh _darlin'_ , you're bein' so cold to me, all breaking a motherfucker's heart and all, won't you even gimme a word, sugargrub? Don't you even care, love?"

 

It's so stupid, that even now you can still pity him, still feel the need to reassure, to placate. And then the fucking pet names, the endearments he usually uses with you, they were always so stupid and embarrassing, you couldn't stand it. Could never say no to those or the kicked barkfiend face, either. It's almost reason enough to answer, but instinct is overruled by logic.

 

"Mm~...stayin' silent on me...."

 

You have to. You _have_ to, not a single sound, even you breathing is already loud enough.

 

"Well, if you'd like that I be all motherfucking clear, my most miraculous _peasantblood_ , you had _BEST BE GETTIN'_  your ass back on over to the lab, sweet brother mine."

 

You shut your eyes and clamp a hand over your mouth. You should hang up, you really should, but you...

 

"You all up to avoiding me now, best beloved? Running away, hiding, heh, like a _COWARD_? Oh love, I been looking for you for a long while, y'know? I don't got any kind of understandin' of why you be wantin' to keep yourself away from me, most precious darling. I'd _never_ make any kind of hurt on you, sweet beloved."

 

Oh god, you want to believe him. What the fuck is wrong with you, you want to believe him, he might have potentially killed Dave but you want him to be better, you want him to come back to himself.

 

"But you are....you's all avoiding me, hidin' away... _WHY YOU **HIDING** FROM ME, BROTHER!? WHAT YOU MOTHERFUCKING AFRAID OF? YOU **AFRAID** OF ME, BRO!?!_ "

 

You are, you really are. You'd swear that he's close, can even hear things from the other side of the door, but you know that isn't true, Gamzee would have came in and found you already.

 

"You don't want me no more...?"

 

No! Or...no?...Oh fuck everything, you don't know! There's _urge_ and _instinct_ through the tears to go and find him and shoosh him _boneless_ , to care and keep all the things he tells you because it was _fucking progress_ and he was doing so well, _why_? Why is he like this, you just want him to stop so you can at least _try_ to help him because you can't help it, fucking hell, you even want him now, to hug you with his gangly arms the way he likes to fold around you and wake you up and tell you this is all just some elaborate nightmare from the bubbles.

 

"Oh, but it's alright, love. If you don't wanna come out for your diamond, it's fine I all motherfucking guess, but what about your Time brother?"

 

What....? What about Dave, is he alive!? Is he okay?

 

"Poor ol' Davey, was up and ditched by our most precious of mutual bros, lost a fight too, if you didn't know. Just real sad-looking he is right now. So, how about this, love: you get yourself back over here, or Strider here is gonna have to play a little game with _me_. Better hurry up, beloved, Dave's clock is all ticking..... _tick_... _tock_... _tick_... _tock_... _tick_... _tock_... _TICK_... _TOCK_... **HONK**!"

 

_Click_

 

He laughs, something cruel and terrible before the line cuts. But, if you can take what he said as truth, then Dave's not dead-dead. There's a chance that you can save him and maybe pacify Gamzee. You just don't know how you're going to handle what happens after, for sure Dave is going to want to kill Gamzee, somewhere between you trying to keep that from happening Gamzee will end up wandering off to god knows where, and then it's back to square zero with him clanging around in the vents and stalking whichever one of you suits his interests for the moment.

Fuck, this is all a load of a shit happenstance, and you...

You....

......Dammit, you don't know what you can do, besides cower in the dark, but you have got to do something, anything.

You slowly, cautiously, stand, all your limbs shaking like gelatin. You have to do something.

.

.

.

You shut off the wristwatch and throw it somewhere towards the wall, uncaring about the tinkling smash of parts.

"Well, Strider, it's all and up to our pretty little mutant what happens now."

The human thrashes, and you bet if he was at his full adult size or whatever it is that the flesh monkeys get after their adolescent stage, he'd actually break the restraints, you're sure. Damn lucky you are he ain't nowhere near as powerful as his Guardian. He must be just as excited as you are to be so close to seeing your pretty cherry brother. Not much longer now.

All that's left is to wait, and you have plenty of practice but very little patience. You pull up one of Sollux's shitty ninja knives and play around with pressing the tip against your skin, seeing how much pressure it'd take to break the skin. Knowing it would probably take much less on your pal here, human skin is such a _fragile_ thing, tsk tsk...

"Don't you move none, now. Be a fine damn shame if you all and bled the fuck out before Karkat gets here, don't you wanna see him?"

Strider tries again to rend himself free, won't even try to stop when you slide the blade side over his skin, shallow slices. Maybe he's hoping that he'll off himself all on accident, revive out of his bonds. You won't allow him the pleasure.

"Hey, friend, c'mon and just get a settle on, we ain't _going_ nowhere and our bro's 's heading to us. Ain't that all kinds of great? I wonder if you'll be all up to down and hang with us for a bit of time. You've probably got plenty of that, don'tcha?"

He screams, though it's muffled with a thick rag. You smile, and wait.

You are going to have _so_ much fun with your best bro.

For as long as you have.

_Forever_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are two parts to this, inspired from a voice recording that according to my computer does not exist, apparently.  
> But I have been dying to write this out, and goddammit, I shall!
> 
> (No, seriously, guys please. Give me some pale fluff or else I'm going to keep making either porn or sad things, I am literally compelled to do these things because Luny, who is me, is not allowed to have nice things, because I apparently like to be sad :') )


	7. Didn't I? Isn't It Alright Now? (Can Be Interpreted As Pale Or Red)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Didn't I? Didn't it work?
> 
> ....Was I not good enough?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:
> 
> Very Sad  
> Sadstuck  
> Dream Bubble Shenanigans  
> Doomed Timelines  
> A Dead Gamzee  
> A Dead Karkat  
> Possibility Of Suicidal Happenstance  
> Cuts & Scars  
> Self-Sacrifice

It's shockingly lonely, going through the bubbles by yourself.

 

You've been sitting for whatever god that cares knows how long in this memory of your block on the meteor, and it's been quite some time since you've seen anyone, and you hate to admit it, but you miss having any other company besides your own headspace, you'd even settle for any of your more unsavory acquaintances. Fucking hell, you'd settle for Greasy Ampora at this point.

 

It sucks being dead. It sucks so goddamn badly, having died on a meteor that somehow gained enough sentience to think that imploding on itself was obviously the most wonderful idea it could knit together. Not really, but sort of...

 

You blow out a long sigh and resign yourself to continue to sit on your resting platform and either check over your face for any weird bubble shifting related changes or reread the only book this stupid memory seems to be able to supply. Forever fuck past you for not bothering to remember up anything else.

 

There is a surprise for you, it seems, when there's a ripple to the walls and the disorienting alteration of the atmosphere( _a quick glance at the reflection plane shows the empty white of your eyes bleed over into yellow and wriggler grey_ ). Your visitor nearly slams the entry plane off the hinge--

 

"Karkat..!?"

 

You freeze, at the entrance is someone you've yet to run into and frankly was somebody you were almost praying to never see again, alternate version or not.

 

Right off you can tell that at least no, this is not your session's Gamzee Motherfucking Makara, but it's a Gamzee nonetheless, horns and all( _you've never seen_ any _ghost of Gamzee while you've been here_ ).

Your session's Gamzee went absolutely shithive and proceeded to drag the entirety of your group through the transportalizer straight to the core( _How in the fuck!!?_ ), reciting prayer rites for you all, completely convinced that there was something much worse waiting for everyone if they continued to wait until they reached the new session with the humans. At the time, you believed that he'd gone stark raving mad, eyes bright with manic conviction. In hindsight, you suppose you can probably remember the panicked, almost fearful demeanor, almost worry, so much that he had hunted everyone down, going so far as to knock out Equius and Sollux, even Kanaya. Vriska was left struggling to breathe and practically retching from a gasping blow to the diaphragm. You tried, you really did, but all he had to do was push your too small hands away( _thinking back, he looked so heart broken, given up and frantic_ ) and gather the rest of you around the core.

You never even had a chance to...well, it really doesn't matter anymore, does it?

 

The transportalizer was destroyed, and after a heavy, harsh strike to the central engine, so was everyone else. And then you all were here.

 

This Gamzee in front of you now, panting like he'd been running a long time, white eyes fade and flicker to the life of his memories, speckling of vivid purple within the iris; this Gamzee has obviously lived a lot longer than you, and for sure isn't yours, but he has yet to notice this particular fact. You don't notice the protruding handle of a blade stuck right over his blood pump until he rushes you, either. At least he's all smiles this time, but the knife...?

 

"Oh brother, it is all to bein' you! 'M so glad to be seein' you since so long!"

Immediately you are pulled into a vice of a hug, just barely missing the handle. You're struggling to get out of the hold, but it just seems to make him squeeze tighter, and as much as you do prefer your personal space, you are also very much worried about the thing sticking out of his thorax.

 

" _G-Gamzee?_ "

He just grins, it's like he can't even feel it, doesn't even know it's there. Indigo drips from beneath where the blade is embedded, running in a slow single line down his shirt. "Look, Karkat, I fixed it, see?"

"...What? What do you mean?"

Gamzee grins, something almost relieved,"I went and fixed everything up, so's we can go home now, we can reset the game."

You're so confused, what is he talking about? There's no way out of this shitfest of a game but to win it, and both of your timelines have obviously failed at that. What...what did he do? What does he mean he ' _fixed it_ '?

"Heehheh, I motherfucking fixed everything!" Again, you're pulled into his chest, lifted off the floor even( _you've always hated how short you are, but now is not the time_ ), does he really not feel the fucking knife that's been stabbed into him!? "Whu- hey-! _Wait_ \--! Wait, Gamzee, put me down! What do you mean, what did you 'fix'?"

He stops suddenly, quiet and still holding you elevated from the ground, you're legs dangling slightly. Another drip of purple runs from under the knife, one small plip as a drop hits the floor. He speaks slowly,"I _did_ fix it, right?"

Gamzee stares, transfixed at something just over your shoulder,"I...I fixed it...didn't I?" A tear( _it's not diluted enough to be tears_ ) falls, and then another. The yellow of his sclera shifts, and then settles back. He continues,"They...He...h-he told me that I could fix it, that it would bring everybody back and all...bring us right back to zero, start again 'n do it right this time..." a weak little laugh, barely even that,"Ain't this it? I, _hehh_ , I just thought i was supposed to go on an' grab everyone...a-and bring us all back, cos then we could have a do over, y'know...?"

You're unsure how to tell him, least of all console him, let him know he's just as dead as you are. You finally feel the security of the floor beneath you, but Gamzee has both hands clamped down on your shoulders, long fingers in a hard grip.

"Didn't I fix it? I...w-was it not _enough?_ " He says, the question not directed at anything in particular, wheezes at himself,"....Was _I_ not enough?"

He sobs, more of his purple streams from his forehead, mars its own pattern down his face,"No...no, cos...I really up and did everything, I _swear_ , love, I did. W-we were all s'posed to come back..." There's more that you notice, the blood. It begins to pour from everywhere else, his horns, his neck, down his arms, the splotches through his clothes, along his legs, his abdomen. If you weren't suddenly terrified, you know that if you turned him around there would be the same on his back. There are goddamn _scars_ reforming across his skin, the source of his leaking. Even his hair has been matted through.

"Wasn't it enough? _Why_..?" Gamzee's voices trembles, his hold on you shaking. You don't know how to help, and it's absolutely pump-wrenching, the one time you meet him, a version of him, despite him not being yours, it hurts that you can do nothing; you're not his moirail. You've never( _you never had the chance to say anything_ )...

The poor pitiful thing moans, agonizing,"Karkat, sugargrub, sweetness, _pity-love_ , oh best beloved, _please_ , why, why, _why_..." It hits you so hard, your insides hollow, and you can't breathe past the lump in your throat. His blood-soaked head lowers against you,"N-no, this ain't right, we were all supposed to go back! It was supposed to take us back, _WHY_!!?"

 

He lurches forward, some uncontrollable jolt of movement, and you both are on your floor. He's finally silent, save for the quiet shake of his shoulders and the hitch of every gasp. Gamzee's horns are dangerously near your stomach, could pierce through, would actually hurt if you weren't already dead. He lifts his eyes to yours, the yellow and indigo fading to that deathly white, and tugs the knife out, lets it clatter on the ground; nothing more spills out, there's nothing left to spill. Doesn't stop the tears, or you from swallowing past the lump and pulling him back down and cradling his bloody face to your chest, you can't find the need to care about stains, it'll fade out anyway. 

You don't say anything, nothing you could say would make any of whatever happened better. Just allow long bony limbs to slide around your middle and cold to seep into your sweater. 

 

He's not yours, but he's still here, still just as important as everybody ever was to you, might have even been more. Maybe serendipity was real. Maybe this is death letting you have the opportunity.

" _Shooshhh..._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vent

**Author's Note:**

> For some reason, I feel a bit more confidence in writing Gamzee than anything, but I'd like to try other characters sometime soon.
> 
> (Warnings will be put in the chapter summary)
> 
> (Requests are open by the way~)


End file.
